Over My Head
by angel-death-dealer
Summary: sequal to How To Save A Life Jessica is eleven years old, and still living with Johnny. Christmas morning brings Jessica's mother back into their lives, but will Jessica be forced to leave with Hallie or will Johnny fight hard enough for her?
1. Is This Real?

**Okay, I know that so many of you have been waiting for this for so long. I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this up, but I had some techinical difficulties when I lost all of my chapter plans for every story I was writing, and it took me a while to get reinspired with this one. It's changed a little from what I originally thought it would be, but seeing as it's almost Christmas, I thought I'd kick things off on a festive side!**

**Please review! I know you want to! Milk and cookies for all who review.**

**Angel-death-dealer**

**xxxxx**

**Chapter One: Is This Real?**

Jessica hadn't been able to sleep for hours now. She'd nodded off around eleven o'clock after staying up late playing poker with her father. She'd won this time fair and square, proving to her father that he couldn't read her as well as he could his sister. Of course, sometimes, he could read her like a book but when she really tried he could never read her at all. Her aunt often pointed out that his poker face was one of the many things that she'd inherited from him. Luckily for him, however, they hadn't been playing for stakes, just with a set of poker chips that her father had brought out of storage from his teenage years.

She rolled over in her bed and looked at the alarm clock. The glowing red lights showed that it was twelve minutes past six in the morning. Finally, she agreed with herself that this was a more than reasonable tome than the last time she'd checked (at half past three) and clambered quietly out of bed. Retrieving a sweater from on top of her chest of drawers, one that a distant relative had sent her for Christmas last year and was at least three sizes too big for her, and slipped it on over her pyjama top, padding quietly over to the other side of the room. Grinning, she creaked open her bedroom door, sliding it ever so gently so that it didn't make a noise. She knew that opening it quickly would probably ensure the silence better, but sneaking quietly and slowly was all part of the fun.

As quietly as she could she padded down the hall, her bare feet almost soundless and any sound that did come from them was muffled by the slightly more audible sound of the bottom of her pyjama pants scraping against the carpet. She crossed the hall, and reached out for the handle to her father's bedroom door. Taking it in her hand she turned it slowly, listening for the click that echoed a little in the early morning silence. When she heard it, she pushed open the door just as slowly, if not slower, as she had done her own. This time, however, she didn't close the door behind her, and she snuck into his bedroom.

She noticed straight away that he was still asleep, lying on his back and facing the ceiling with his closed eyelids. As she got closer, she could hear the sounds he made in his sleep, too loud to be breathing but to quiet to be snores and she grinned to herself. Getting closer still, she noticed that, as usual, he'd kicked off the covers in his sleep - something that they both did because of their unusually high body temperatures. Edging right to the side of the bed where he slept, she waited, frozen motionless in preparation, and, of course, to make sure that he was definitely still asleep.

Convinced that he was, and just about to jump him, she took a breath, but she was surprised when Johnny's body leapt into a sitting position and threw her down onto the mattress beside him.

"Daddy!" she squealed as he began to tickle her wherever he could reach; her sides, her underarms, beneath her knees, her feet...he knew that she was ticklish, especially when caught off guard. "Daddy, stop!" she pleaded with him, but through her laughter he paid no attention to her.

Eventually, she managed to get herself back up from where she was at his mercy on the bed and she grabbed a pillow, hitting him on the back of the head with it. Of course, this did nothing but start a pillow fight, one that lasted for at least ten minutes, filled with loud laughter and the muffled, playful screams that were toned down by the blocking of the pillows. It wasn't long before the energy they had was exhausted and they lay side by side, facing the ceiling as Johnny had done alone a moment ago. Both of them were breathing hard, catching their breathe from what some people would consider a fairly good workout, and still laughing quietly to themselves.

Only minutes after laying down, Jessica regained the same burst of energy that hadn't left her since she'd first woken up and rolled over quickly, hitting Johnny gently on the chest with her pillow before rolling back the other way and clambering off the bed. Once on her feet, she checked to see if Johnny was following her example and getting out of bed, but he wasn't.

Frowning, she spotted a pillow that had been lost to the floor in their battle, and she picked it up, throwing it at him. Right on target, it landed on his face. "Come on! Get up!" she insisted, and ran to the bedroom door. "It's Christmas!"

Jessica managed to get halfway down the hall towards the living room before realising that he was still in bed, and she ended up going back to force him out of bed again. However, she found that he was waiting to tickle her senseless again but she was determined not to let that happen another time, and took of running down the hall faster than he could catch up with her.

When they eventually made it to the living room, Jessica ran straight towards the Christmas tree, going over to the window ledge behind it and opening the last door on her chocolate advent calendar. She giggled with delight when the chocolate touched her tongue, and heard Johnny laughing along with her from behind her. His laughter soon stopped however when she made a dive for the Christmas tree and he caught her around the waist to stop her.

"Hey, let me go!" she protested, squirming against him as he lifted her off her feet.

"Oh, no, you don't," he told her, turning her in his arms so that he could keep a better hold of her and ending up with his daughter on his back. "We're waiting for the others, remember?" he saw her pouting in their reflection in the mirror. "Don't look at me like that, we agreed this last night."

"I was excited, I wasn't concentrating," she pointed out to him. Christmas Eve always brought out a side in Jessica that hadn't grown up as she had over the years. This year, she'd spent the entire evening running around the house, bouncing up and down because she didn't know what to do with herself. He loved seeing her so happy, but he had to admit that her energy sometimes exhausted even him.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You were concentrating when I asked you if you wanted any ice cream," he reminded her.

Jessica sighed, caught out on her original excuse. "Ice cream doesn't need thinking about, it's a necessity."

"Is it?" he challenged.

"Yeah, Auntie Sue said so."

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I bet she did."

"Did I mention you were the best Dad in the entire world?" she asked him.

"Not this morning you didn't," he smiled.

"You are, you know," she told him. "The greatest, best, most fantastic Dad in the history of Dad's."

Johnny smiled, fighting back for a laugh. "Nice try, firefly, but we're waiting for the others to get here."

She pouted again, hoping that he would fall for it the second time. "But they won't be here for hours!" she protested.

Johnny placed her down on the floor again and headed towards the kitchen. "Then we'd better have some breakfast," he suggested.

She groaned dramatically as she started to follow him into the kitchen, but she quickly doubled back, making another break for the Christmas tree and everything beneath it. However, just when she was about to touch it a hand shot out and grabbed her wrist - not tight enough to hurt her, but enough for her to know she'd been caught red handed.

"I was just going to hold them," she said quickly trying her best to sound innocent.

"I thought we agreed that shaking presents is wrong," he reminded her, remembering back to an incident last year, when a present for Sue had been a set of china ornaments from her father and Franklin had shaken the present, shattering them into pieces.

"No, it's not," she said with a sweet smile, still trying to win him over.

"They might be breakable," he pointed out.

Jessica thought about this for a moment, biting her lip, something she did when she knew that she was wrong and was desperately looking for a way to get out of it. "...it's not wrong..." she muttered helplessly. Johnny just laughed again as he swiftly lifted her up, this time throwing her over his shoulder.

"Dad? Dad, what are you doing? Daddy! Put me down!" Her protests her accompanied by the flailing of her arms and legs but her tiny eleven-year-old frame stood no change against his hold, and she slumped against him, surrendering by default as she huffed, "Did you have ANY friends growing up?"

Johnny just continued to grin as he carried her into the kitchen. He sat her down in one of the chairs and after kicking the door shut behind him, he went to the kitchen worktop, watching his restless, energetic daughter slumped her upper body in a sprawl over the table.

"Daaaaaaaad, it's Christmas!" she complained. "We've gotta open presents!"

"We will open them," he assured her.

"But we've gotta do it now!" she insisted.

Johnny had a feeling that Sue and Reed were upstairs having much the same problem with Franklin. Franklin was seven years old now, which meant that having watched his elder cousin for many a year on Christmas morning he was starting to perfect the morning routine himself. This, however, was the first Christmas that Johnny and Jessica had spent in their separate apartment of the Baxter Building, so they were alone on Christmas morning. They'd moved into the apartment just below the main lab-based apartment that they'd originally all shared at the start of the summer, having finally felt that, with Sue and Reed having a second child under their feet as well now, that they could all do with the extra room.

"Jessie, the sun isn't even up yet," Johnny told her, indicating to the kitchen window where the sky outside was still grey. He went over to the CD player, putting in the same Christmas disc of old rock and roll classic covers that Jessica had fallen in love with from a young age. "What do you say we make the messiest, best breakfast that we've ever had?" he asked her.

She lifted her head from the table and grinned at him. "Now you're talking."

----

The Christmas breakfast proved to be just as messy and fun-filled as Johnny had first suggested it would be. Twenty minutes later the father and daughter team had managed to prepare the pancake batter and were just getting ready to cook it. Of course, the main reason it had taken twenty minutes was because Johnny was still trying to keep Jessica from the presents in the living room. But at the moment, there was one more pressing matter taking over her mind.

"Seriously, we are not putting any more chocolate chips in the pancakes, Little Miss Storm" Johnny said through a laugh.

"We seriously are, Little Mr Storm. " Jessica decided, and went ahead with dumping the rest of the packet into the prepared mix before Johnny could say otherwise.

"That's 'Mr. Human Torch' to you," he corrected her.

She raised her head and put her hands on her hips, looking at him all the daring that she could muster. Yes, she'd learnt this from her aunt. "Are you flying and on fire?"

He looked down at himself. No he was very much de-flamed and on the ground in his kitchen. "No."

"Then you're not the Human Torch today," she said simply.

She went back to stirring the pancake mix, now complete with chocolate chips, and Johnny nudged shoulders with her. "Cheap shot," he grumbled, even though he was still smiling.

"I'm right though," she grinned.

"Not all the time," she scoffed.

"I totally am," she said, like a the teenage girl that Johnny was fearing her growing into in a few years time.

"Are not," he argued.

"Wanna bet?" she challenged him. That had been a phrase she'd learnt from him within weeks of living with him at the age of three.

"Does it involve opening presents?"

"Yes,"

"Then no," he said simply, giving her a broad smile as he poured the pancake mix into the saucepan. "Nice try, but it's not going to work."

----

After she'd managed to get through breakfast without trying to escape to the presents again, Johnny allowed her the time alone when he went back along the hall to take a shower. Of course, he was only gone about ten minutes, but the whole time he could envision coming back to a living room covered in torn wrapping paper, and his daughter in the middle with the 'it wasn't me' expression on her face. When he came back, however, she was standing behind the sofa, her hip resting against it as she carefully fingered a cushion edge with her fingers. About six feet ahead of her was the Christmas tree, and beneath that, the presents. She could easily see the ones that she'd worked so hard on to wrap by herself, and the ones that had been put aside for the rest of the family that they'd wrapped together a few nights ago, but especially, she could see the ones that had been wrapped with her name on.

Johnny watched her from where she couldn't see him, and saw the curiosity in her eyes. So many years now he'd seen her staring at a Christmas tree, and the child-like innocence never faded. There was always a look of such wonder in her eyes that he wished she'd never lose. He watched her, leaning against the wall as she stayed motionless.

She was eleven-years-old now, and still the absolute image of her father. Her hair was much longer now, falling past her shoulders with a gentle wave to it near the bottom. Johnny was no expert, of course, but he had learned with time that when the wave became more extreme it was time to get a haircut, but usually Sue or Jessica would remind him, and later pester him, of that before he even realised it needing doing. Just as he had predicted the first time he laid eyes on her, she loved the outdoors, and the freckles on her cheeks and nose were still there, only more predominant now that she spent most of her days running around outside in the sun. There wasn't a single thing she turned down when it came to outdoor activities, proving that she was as active as her father as well.

Jessica had gone to a regular kindergarten, and whilst there were a few accidents with her powers she'd fit in as well as any other child in her class. Thankfully her accidents only involved burnt paper or melted felt-tip pens, and no harm was done to her or her classmates but Johnny was afraid that, even though she was working incredibly hard to learn self-control, her mind might slip up and she could cause some damage. However, just before they had started to consider what primary school she should attend, Franklin had revealed his own powers at the age of two, a year younger than Jessica had been at her first show of power. Franklin's power had been so much more dangerous than hers, though. When he had become scared during a power-cut, he had managed to levitate everything in the room, including the people, and then drop everything to the ground without even thinking about it, which had resulted in many broken ornaments, picture frames, and a large dent where Ben had landed.

Knowing that his son's powers were clearly still developing and yet already he was dangerously powerful, Reed had gotten in touch with an old mentor of his and Sue's. Charles Xavier ran a school exclusively for children with special abilities like Jessica's and Franklin's. When Reed had mentioned singing Franklin up for the waiting list of school age children, Johnny had asked him to enroll Jessica for the start of the first school term. This way, not only did they get through their day without being taunted for what they could do, or goaded for who their parents were, but they also got an extremely good education, or at least they had to be considering the grades and homework that Jessica was bringing home.

Her best subject was easily physical education, even though she was top of her class in science and physics. As much as he tried to encourage her with the academic subjects as he did with the physical, he had to admit that he was glad that his daughter shared his love for the outdoors. He admired the bond that Reed and Franklin had with science and space, but Johnny wasn't sure how he'd cope if Jessica wanted to spend all her time indoors. He'd come to depend on her energy to contribute to his own, and even if it was just a walk down the park, it was worth it in their eyes.

At the end of the day, Jessica was his whole world. He'd be lost without her, and he certainly didn't know what he'd be doing with his life if she wasn't around. He couldn't even imagine what it would be like to wake up in the morning without going into her room and making sure she was getting ready for school, or cooking dinner for one, or hearing her music over the top of his own. What would he do without her? He couldn't imagine her not being there anymore. He couldn't even imagine what would happen if something would take that away from him.

He could see that she was itching to move, even in the slightest, where she was toying with the rope tassels on the corners of the cushions - but she didn't move. She just stared at the tree. She wasn't smiling, but her lips were parted ever so slightly in a cute way that, had she been just a few feet shorter, he could have mistaken her for a five year old again.

"I can't do it," she spoke out to him, showing that she knew he was there. After all, he wasn't exactly hiding, she just hadn't been looking at him. "I know I want to open them, but I couldn't."

"Why not?" he asked, not moving from his space.

She turned her head towards him. "Because you weren't here," she said sincerely.

All the excitement in her eyes and the laughter that had been in her eyes all morning had disappeared from her, and Johnny realised that what now stood before him was his growing-up daughter - no longer the little girl that saw Christmas as all about presents and good food, but the girl who was beginning to take Christmas seriously. He stepped closer to her as she continued talking. He knew her well enough to know that there was still something else that she wanted to say in her silence, and that if he waited, just for a little while, she'd come out and say it.

"If there's no one here with me, then it's like it's not real," she admitted, looking back at the tree before focusing her gaze to the pillow tassel she was torturing with her fingers. "Nothing really feels real when you're on your own."

Standing beside her, Johnny put his arm around her waist. Immediately, her head fell against his chest, and he placed a kiss upon her tousled brown hair. "You're not on your own now," he told her, almost challenging her to see if she would move for the presents, but his tone was soft.

"I'm still not opening them," she said, shaking her head against his shoulder. "This is a family Christmas. We've gotta wait for the rest of the family and then when we look around the table when we have dinner we'll know that this where we belong."

Hearing her say this caused his heart to swell within his chest. He'd never been a perfect father, he could admit that, but he liked to think that he had helped his daughter to grow up with good values. He liked to think that he'd taught her that the true meaning of Christmas was spending time with your loved ones rather than receiving presents, and that school was important for the future no matter how much she didn't get on with her maths teacher. Because of what happened with her mother walking out and leaving her with him, he'd always tried so hard to make her feel she belonged with him and the rest of the Fantastic Four family, even though it had never been said - it turns out that it had been there all along.

"Does that mean that we're always going to have Christmas together, eve when you're all grown up with your own family?" he asked her with a smile.

She raised her head and grinned. "Just try and stop me."

He grinned back at her. "Come here, firefly," he told her with a gentle laugh, bringing her properly into his arms. They crushed each other into a hug, and when they parted he kissed her on the forehead. "This is definitely where you belong," he assured her.

"With the most Fantastic family in the world?" she smirked, knowing what his answer would be.

"With me," he corrected her, bringing her into his arms once again.

----

Christmas morning hadn't always been enjoyable for Johnny. For him, Christmas had always been a family occasion, even when his family wasn't quite complete. After he and Sue lost their mother, their father began to work more, and many a time after that he hadn't been there on Christmas Eve to help Johnny put his stocking up, or even be there first thing in the morning when a young Johnny would creep into his fathers room, jumping on the bed to get him to wake up because Santa had been. Instead, that role had been passed on to Sue, and it had been his sister who had kept the magic of Christmas alive when his parents weren't there.

It reminded him a lot of how Jessica crept into his room every Christmas morning without fail. She had the same creeping footsteps that he heard when she shuffled along the carpet, and he knew she'd push his bedroom door open just enough for her to slide through the gap. They'd both always been ecstatic about Christmas, and for Johnny his first Christmas that he was able to share with his daughter was the final step in him growing up. Now, he was the one helping put up the stocking, and telling his daughter to go to sleep or Santa wouldn't come. He was the parent now, not the child.

Somehow, Jessica managed to contain herself for a few more hours, and still hadn't attacked the presents even though she'd been caught gazing longingly at them.

"They're not going to disappear if you stop looking at them, you know," Johnny had told her, as she had lost yet another car race on the games console because she had looked over at the presents once again and crashed into a wall.

"I know," she told him, gearing up for another rematch even though she would no doubt look over and crash again. "I just like Christmas," she told him in a tiny, awe filled voice.

The sound of the mail box shattering against itself alerted their attention at the other end of the hall and Jessica frowned at her father. "What's that?"

"Sounded like the mail," Johnny mused, a confused expression on his face.

"I thought we didn't get mail on Christmas day?" Jessica said, tilting her head to one side.

"We don't," Johnny said, getting to his feet and going down the hall, with Jessica, as always, hot on his heels.

Sure enough, on the doormat beside endless pairs of his daughter's sneakers, Johnny found a single envelope. He bent down to pick it up, spotting a singular name on the front, and no address. Whoever had sent this must have just posted it personally. Frowning, he opened the front door, looking into the hall but found there was no one in sight. "Weird," he murmured to himself.

"What is it?" Jessica asked him, standing on tiptoes to look over at the envelope.

"Probably a Christmas card,"

"Is it for me?"

He nodded, looking down at the slanted writing reading _Jessica-Skye _on the front. What confused him was that no one he knew called her by her full name. He didn't even call her by her full name, not even when he was being deadly serious. The last time he'd used her full name was when he filled in paperwork for the school or the doctors. "Yeah, it's for you."

"Cool!" she exclaimed, taking it from him and running back down the hall - finally, something she could open. She took a running start at the back of the couch, leaping over the top of it and landing on the cushions on the other side no matter how many times her father told her not to, and started to tear open the start of the envelope. Reading inside it, however, she frowned. "Daddy?" she called.

Johnny finally caught up with her and came to the back of the couch. "What is it?"

"Is this real?" she asked, holding the card out to him.

He took it when she offered it to him, seeing that the front had the traditional 'merry Christmas' writing covered in large amounts of red glitter. Underneath was a picture of a traditional four-piece family - a mother, a father, a son and a daughter - all sitting together before a roaring open fire in a overly decorated living room. It didn't alert his attention too much, as they had about a thousand Christmas cards around the apartment with much the same design.

"Looks real to me," he observed, handing it back to her.

She didn't take it though. "Look who it's from, Daddy," she told him quietly.

He opened up the card, where he found more slanted handwriting. "Is it real?" she asked him again, seeing that he had the same confused expression that she'd had moments ago when she first read it.

But Johnny couldn't answer. His mouth dried up with words and he didn't know what to say to her. The words before him were as clear as day, and whether it was the real thing or just someone playing a cruel joke, he didn't know - and he didn't want either possibility to be true.

_Dear Jessica-Skye_

_Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! May your festive season be filled with delight!_

_I love you sweetheart, _

_Mom._


	2. First Days of New Obstacles

**Chapter Two: First Days of New Obstacles**

_His little girl was starting school. Big school. Not kindergarten, like she'd attended for a year now; real big school. _

_There wasn't a uniform for this school even though it was privately owned, but Sue had still taken her out shopping for some smart clothes to wear for her first day. Now, on the morning of her new start, she was wearing a knee-length blue denim skirt and a white polar-neck sweater. Underneath the skirt was a pair of black tights and a tiny pair of brown suede tie-up shoes that she just 'had to have', according to Sue. It should have made her look like a little woman, but it didn't; not to him. In fact, the new school outfit only underlined the shocking newness of her. Approaching her fifth birthday, the second birthday she'd have celebrated in her father's company, she wasn't even young yet. She was still brand new, even if she was dressed up like more of a grown up than her father._

_As he helped her to get ready for that all-exciting first day, he began to realise just how much he loved her face. At first, he'd been unable to distinguish whether or not she really was beautiful, or if it was just his parental instinct telling him that. But now, he knew the truth. With those pale blue eyes, her soft brown hair and the cheeky smile that would spread across her incredibly smooth face, he could see that she really was beautiful. And now he had to let his beautiful girl go out into the world. At least, until half-past-three this afternoon. For the father and daughter, however, it felt like a lifetime._

_Now, though, Jessica wasn't smiling. She sat silently in her new clothing at the breakfast table, struggling to keep her bottom lip from trembling over her coco pops whilst Sue, Reed and Johnny managed to keep a running commentary about school being part of the best days of your life. Then, breakfast was over, and it was all too soon time to go. As they drove up to the school, Johnny was finally seized by a moment of panic. There were children everywhere, swarms of them in their new outfits the same as Jessica was, all heading in the same direction as them. He'd given speeches to young children on behalf of the Fantastic Four in schools before, but since Jessica came along he looked at crowds of children differently. These weren't small fans begging just to ask him to flame on; this was a crowd of children the same height as his daughter. He could easily have lost her there._

_They pulled up some way from the main gates, and Johnny took his daugther's hand as they joined the throng of parents and children that entered the school. Before they past through the gates, however, Johnny noticed that her shoelace was undone. "Here, let's do that up before you trip," he said, kneeling down to tie it and realising that this was the first day she'd ever worn shoes that weren't done up by velcro straps or zips._

_Two older girls, about eight years old each, rolled past arm in arm. They leered down at the pair, realising who they were while Jessica innocently smiled at them, a hint of shyness overcoming to usually outgoing girl. "She can't even do her own shoes up," one of the girls snorted._

_"No," Jessica replied straight away, sounding very proud of herself, "but I can do this." With that, she brought her hand up, clicking her fingers as Johnny had taught her to. Above her thumb a tiny flame snapped into visibility, dancing a centimeter above her skin. The two girls laughed and reeled away, repeating what Jessica had said in disbelief. Jessica frowned, looking at Johnny. "I thought I could do it well," she said, thinking that they doubted her ability - her eyes blinking furiously as she seriously considered bursting into tears. _

_"You can do it brilliantly," he told her, unable to believe he was actually going to turn his daughter loose among all the cynicism and smite of the normal world. _

_They went into the playground, and a lot of the children who were just staring the school had both parents with them – but he wasn't the only lone parent. He wasn't even the only man. There was another solo father, perhaps ten years older than him, a business type accompanying a composed little boy with a rucksack covered in some boyband members. They exchanged a quick look, and though the man looked astounded to see Johnny there, there was look of mutual respect there._

_The headmaster kindly directed everyone to the assembly hall, where everyone was given a breezy pep talk and then the children were all assigned to their individual classrooms. Jessica was given to Miss Munroe, and with a handful of other parents and children they were marched off to her class by one of the trusted other children who were acting as guides. Jessica was dumbstruck with admiration when she noticed that their guide had bright pink hair and red eyes. In Miss Munroe's class a flock of five year olds were sitting cross-legged on the floor, patiently waiting for a story from their teacher – a woman with darkly tanned skin and bright white hair even though she wasn't a day over thirty._

_"Welcome, everyone!" she smiled brightly. "You're just in time for our morning story. But first it's time to say goodbye to their mommy," she beamed at Johnny, and he remembered that this woman was an old friend of Reed's, the woman who had managed to set it up that Jessica, and one day Franklin, could attend this school, "and daddy."_

_It was time to leave her. Although there had been a few emotional goodbyes when he left her at kindergarten sometimes, this felt a bit different. This time it felt as though Johnny were the one being left. She was starting school, and by the time she left school she would be a woman and he would be middle-aged. Those days of watching videos at homel, walking in the park, and teaching her to control her powers while life went on somewhere else were over. Those days had sometimes seemed empty and frustrating but he missed them already. His baby was joining the world._

_Miss Munroe asked for volunteers to look after the new boys and girls. A forest of hands shotup, and the teacher chose the chaperones. Suddenly a young, clearly handsome young boy with dark hair and bright blue eyes was standing next to them._

_"I'm Declan," he told Jessica. "I'll take care of you."_

_The little boy took her hand and led her into the classroom._

_She didn't even notice Johnny leaving._

If someone had told Johnny that his Christmas day with his daughter would have been ruined by the arrival of a Christmas card, he wouldn't have believed them. It was the one day of the year that he truly believed no one could get to them. There was no post, so no threatening letters from Hallie's lawyers that he had been secretly dreading every morning even though they never arrived, and there was no overload of fan mail. It was calm. Peaceful.

Almost eeirily like it was now.

Jessica was sat with her back to the couch, in the same position as Franklin. Sue and Reed had arrived with the children half an hour ago, and the two elder children were entertaining eleven month old Valeria while it was 'grown up time' in the kitchen. Even Reed, who was sometimes the most unobservent man in the history of ignorance, could see the far off look in the young girl's eye. It was clear that she was thinking about what had come into her hands that morning, and Johnny held the same envelope in his hands. At the moment, it was empty, as Sue and Reed were looking down at the card that had been inside it.

"Why now?" Sue asked as she closed the card, looking down at the traditional Christmas cheese that covered the front of the card.

Johnny shrugged, turning away from the intense look on his daughter's face. "I don't know."

"Do you think she's back?" she continued.

He shrugged again. "I don't know."

"Johnny-"

"I don't know, okay?" he said, his voice dangerously low and calm. He didn't want to be overheard by Jessica, and the door was open. "The card arrived this morning, and there was no one at the door when we got there. The card was for Jessie, she opened it, and that's all I know."

Sue nodded, looking at the words again. "Do you think this means she wants her back?"

The words caused Johnny to look up sharply. "_What_?"

Now, it was his sister's turn to shrug. "She left so suddenly. Perhaps whatever convinced her to leave isn't taking hold of her anymore. Perhaps she's realised her mistake."

"Oh, no," Johnny said, half-laughing. "She doesn't get to walk in here and demand my daughter back after what she did. She's not going anywhere near my daughter."

"She's her mother, Johnny-"

"No, she's not," Johnny shot back, making sure to keep his voice low. "She's not Jessie's mother. She's not anyone's mother." He sighed, looking at his sister. "You're a mother, Sue. You're there when your kids wake up in the morning. You're there when they wake up in the night. You're there for everything in between. Hallie upped and left the minute she knew her daughter was mine as well. She's not a mother, and she's certainly not using biological links to override what I do for my little girl."

"Sue does have a point, Johnny," Reed told him, almost seeing the flames burn in his eyes. "I don't mean to say that Hallie deserves to have Jessica back, but Jessica is eleven years old now. She understands to some extent what happened when she was brought here, and she's old enough now to make the decision for herself. I know it's hard to admit, but there is a chance that she might want to see her mother."

_Sue came up to him the second he was back through the door. "So, how did it go?" she asked him, sounding genuinely anxious. Of course, it wouldn't be long before she would be going through the first day at school routine with her own child. _

_Johnny smiled at her. "The chin started wobbling a bit when we got to the gates," he remembered. "There were a few years in the eye as well when she went off to join the class, but that was me, of course. Jessie didn't even notice I was gone."_

_Sue just laughed, putting her hand on the top of his arm. "See, she'll be fine."_

Johnny froze at this. Would Jessica really want to see her mother, after all that Hallie had put her through? Would he be able to stand by and watch her set herself up for heartache that would inevitably set in when Hallie did another escape run? "You can't be serious."

"Just consider the idea," Reed said, looking out at the three children. "It looks like she already is."

He followed his gaze to Jessica again. She did look like she was thinking hard. Perhaps he should talk to her about this. "What time are Ben and Alicia getting here?" he asked, not taking his eyes off of his daughter.

"They're going to visit Alicia's step-father, and then they're coming by around lunchtime," Sue told him.

"Okay. I'll be back in a bit. Me and Jessie are going for a walk."

_As the children came swarming out of the gates at half-past three, Johnny saw that there was never a possibility of losing Jessica in the crowd. Even among the hundreds of children, he could still spot his own child a mile off. She was with Declan, the little boy who said that said he was going to look after her. _

_"Did you enjoy it?" he asked her, afraid that she would threaten to hold her breath if he ever made her go back._

_"Yeah!" she cried out. "Bye, Deco."_

_"See you tomorrow," he said, before running off to find his own mother._

_Jessica smiled at him as Declan disappeared through the thinning crowd._

_"I'll see him tomorrow," she said. "At my school."_

_There was dirt on her hands, paint on her face, and a piece of what looked like egg sandwich by her mouth, but she was fine. School was going to be okay._

When he got into the living room, he put his hand on his daughter's shoulder. She looked up from where she had been tickling Valeria's stomach. "Hi, Daddy," she smiled, trying to disguise her thoughtful expression.

"Get your coat, baby," he told her. "We're going for a walk."

"We are?" she asked. "It's like minus twenty out there."

He smiled at her dramatic groan. "Then you'd better get your scarf, gloves and hat too, because we need to have a talk, don't we?"

Their smiles dropped. "Yeah, I guess we do."

"Come on, let's go to the park."


	3. More Than One Life To Live

**Chapter Three: More Than One Life To Live**

As father and daughter walked through the frost-bitten park, neither stopped to look at their surroundings. They walked mostly in silence from the Baxter Building to the park, which thankfully wasn't a long walk, and then they sat down on the swings, not actually swinging, just gently rocking backwards and forwards, Johnny with his feet firmly planted on the ground and Jessica with her toes just skimming the tarmac beneath them. It was freezing, being Christmas Day, but neither of them could feel the cold seeing as their average body temperature was just over two hundred degrees. Despite this, though, Johnny had his daughter wearing her winter clothing, scarf and gloves keeping her wrapped up warm even though she hadn't felt the cold since before she came to live with him. His overprotectiveness was unnecessary, but Jessica was the kind of girl who would be running around in shorts and t-shirt in all weathers, and Human Torch's daughter or not, he wasn't comfortable seeing her that exposed in winter when Franklin had to be wearing so many layers to keep from shivering.

"This is a lot more dramatic than last Christmas," Jessica spoke out, her breath clouding in the cold air before her.

Johnny nodded. "That's because last year we just blew up a toaster," he reminded her. "This year..." he trailed off, unable to describe what was happening this year.

"This year Mom's back," she finished for him.

"Maybe," he corrected her.

She sighed at this, her father's favourite word. He was always saying maybe. Maybe, she could stay at the Xavier institute and have dinner with her best friend who boarded their permanently. Maybe, the night after that, Declan could come and have dinner with them. Maybe meant that there were variables. "Maybe means yes," she remembered ultimately.

"No, maybe means maybe," he inforced, watching her from his swing. "We don't know anything for sure. It was just a card, it might be nothing." The likelyhood of that was slim, but he felt he had to say something.

"What does it mean if she is back, though?" Jessica asked.

"It means that we both have some choices to make," he told her.

She looked up at him from where she'd been staring down at the frosty tarmac. "Both of us?"

He nodded. "You're not three years old anymore, Firefly," he told her, almost regretfully. He'd used that nickname since the day that they actually bonded as father and daughter, and had continued to use it everyday since. He missed the days where their greatest worries were learning how to braid her hair to her satisfaction, and when she'd bring home paintings and glued models from kindergarten instead of math homework that even he couldn't understannd. "You're growing up now, and I think that you're old enough to be making your own decisions when it comes to your mother."

She screwed her eyes up, looking at him in confusion. "I'm only eleven," she reminded him.

He had his hands dug in his pocket, barely moving on the swing while she kept her glove-covered palms tightly wrapped around the chains of the swing, swinging several inches forwards just by perpetual motion. She was only eleven. She wasn't even in the pre-teen phase yet. Of course, she was gradually getting into make up and very girly clothes that he wasn't sure he wanted her wearing in public yet, let alone to dances where there would be boys looking at her, but she wasn't old enough for him to worry about what she was doing when she was with her friends and not with him. He'd always dreaded the day when she brought a boy home to meet him, and had never imagined it to be in the form of her best friend when she was just seven years old. Thankfully, it was this best friend that prevented her bringing boys of any other sort home, and hopefully it would stay that way until she was thirty-five.

"I know that," he told her, "and that's why I'm going to be here for whatever questions you want to ask me, but at the end of the day this isn't a decision that I can make for you. You're old enough to call the shots on this one."

Again, she looked at him in confusion, cocking her head to one side as she watched him trying to explain the most important father-daughter talk they'd ever had in her life. "What decision is it I'm supposed to be making?" she asked him.

Johnny sighed. He hadn't expected it to be this hard. When Reed had pointed out to him that Jessica was clearly thinking hard about this, he'd expected her to be wondering whether or not she was going to see her mother, and now that he'd started speaking to her about it it was clear that she hadn't been thinking about that at all. She was right. She was only eleven. What did she understand about this? "Jessie, if your mother is back in town then there's no doubt that she wants to see you," he explained to her. "I definitely don't think she's here to see me, but regardless of her reason I'm not going to force you to see her. And that works the other way round as well, I'm not going to force you not to see her either. I'm going to let you decide."

"But if she wants to see me, shouldn't I let her?" she asked, with all the innocence that made up who she was.

"Not if you don't want to," he assured her.

"Why not?"

"Because it's your choice," he told her. "You haven't seen her for eight years and that's a very long time, especially at your age. This is a big decision as well, and you shouldn't make it for anyone other than yourself, so don't make a decision because you think it's what I want you to do. Some kids choose not to see their parents at all, and other choose to see them straight away, but some like to take the time and understand whats happened in the past before they start moving forward. I know that you don't remember much about your mother, so I'm going to tell you everything that you want to know, and then you can take as long as you want to make a decision. I don't care if it's a day, a year, or ten years, it's your decision. I don't want you to do anything unless you're absolutely sure."

She nodded slowly, taking his speech in. "Anything I want to know?" she questioned.

He nodded surely. "Anything at all."

"Okay."

He was silent for a moment, awaiting the questions that would no doubt follow but there were none. "Okay? That's all?"

She shrugged innocently. "I can't think of anything right now."

His eyes widened, and he looked away from her dramatically, putting his hand on his chest as if he were accepting an award. "For the first time in your life you're not asking me questions...this is a breakthrough...a proud moment..."

"Dad!"

He stopped, laughing gently. "There isn't anything you wanted to know that you didn't want to ask me about before?" he asked her, knowing that deep down she must have a million questions about the mother that left her.

She screwed up her face, thinking hard for a second. "What's her favourite movie?"

Johnny looked at her strangely. "Anything in the world, and you want to know that?"

"You said anything," she reminded him. "What was it?"

"Uhh...Bridget Jones's Diary," he recalled. "Or, at least, it was when I last had to watch a movie with her."

"Does she like Jurassic Park?" she asked.

"Firefly, I think only you like Jurassic Park," he smirked at her.

"You like it too," she protested.

"That's because you play it about a thousand times a day," he pointed out.

She thought hard again. "Did she ever break her arm?"

"No, but I did a few times and she was always the first person to sign my cast," he remembered.

"What about her leg?"

He thought back, "no, that was me again."

"Did she ever break anything?"

"She broke her mom's old vase once, but I think that might have kinda been my fault. She never broke any bones, though."

"What's her favourite food?"

He gave her a suspicious look. "What's with all these questions?" he asked her. "I was expecting ones that would be horrible to answer, but these are boring."

"They're not boring," Jessica protested. "I'm just trying to figure out if I'm anything like her or not."

And at the end of the day, that was all a little girl wanted to know. Was she like her mother? "That's what you really want to know?" he asked her. She nodded. "Well, if you'd jsut said that I could have told you."

"So, tell me!" she said, rather brightly.

"Alright," he started, taking a breath and not knowing where to start. "Well, it's hard beacuse you're mostly like me, and you were even when you first came to live with me, but when you're like your mother you're really like her. Like when you put your hands on your hips because you think I'm doing something silly. Sometimes when you laugh it reminds me of her laugh...and how you throw something when you get mad? She used to do that."

Jessica nodded, almost sad. "What was her name again?"

Johnny felt a quick intake of air overcome him. She'd forgotten her name. Didn't her letter make him promise not to let it come to that, or something? "Hallie," he said softly. "Hallie Morgan."

Jessica was silent for a long time before she spoke next. "Why did she leave me, Daddy?" she asked in a quiet voice that made her sound five years old again.

He sighed. "I wish I could tell you, Firefly, I really do, but I can't. I don't undersatnd what was going through her head when she left, but she did try to explain it to me."

"What did she say?" she asked.

"She was a bit confused when she tried to say it - that was the last time I ever saw her. She left a letter in with your things, which explained it a little better."

"What did the letter say?"

"A lot of things," he rememebered. "I kept it in case we ever had a situation like this where you wanted to know about her and I couldn't explain it, so I guess you can read it if you like."

She smiled softly. "Yeah, I think I'd like that."

"Jessie," he said, turning in the swing slightly, abliet awkwardly, to face her more. "I know that your mother being here will complicate things, and I'm not going to lie to you like some parents would, but things are going to change, even if we don't want them to."

"Do I have to go and live back with her?" she asked, almost scared when he brought up the subject of change.

"No!" he assured her quickly. "No, you live with me, kid, and that's not changing until you get married."

"Good," she nodded.

"Things are still going to change, Jessie."

"I don't want things to change," she said, looking away and ignoring the idea.

"Neither do, but sometimes things change for the better," he explained to her. "This might turn out to be a good thing."

She took one look at her father, the man who had raised her for eight years, and knew the truth. "You don't believe that."

"Okay, I don't, but your Uncle Reed does and I'm going to try too, for your sake," he smiled, getting caught out.

She reached out her hand and took hold of his between the swings. "Don't worry, Dad, I can believe enough for the both of us."

He nodded. "I don't doubt that." She smiled back at him. "I'll tell you what," he suggested, "how about we go home, have a great Christmas day like we always do, and tonight, when everyone goes up to their beds we'll put on some movies or some music, and you can read the letter from your Mom. How does that sound?"

She grinned at him, her first geniuine smile since the card had fallen into their morning. "Like Christmas day."

-----

Back in Johnny's apartment, the Richard's family were trying to delay their son from diving into the presents beneath the tree. Sue was in the kitchen, trying to explain to Ben and Alicia that the father and daughter would be back soon, which was hard considering they both knew it would be a stretch to get Jessica ten feet away from the tree, let alone far enough away from the presents that they could disappear without her knowing. So many times, Sue had peeked through into the living room, where her husband was watching a movie with Franklin, and made the presents invisible when she caught her son staring at them. Eventually, he became so engrossed in the made-for-television Christmas movie, and turned to his father in awe.

"Dad, can we get a dog?" he asked.

"No, son, we talked about this, remember?" Reed prompted, comforting Valeria as she started to comlpain a little. At the moment, she was held comfortably against his chest, her tiny head on her father's shoulder - a position that the little girl could normally be found in as she liked to play with the collar of his shirts. Sue had said from the day she was born that she was a Daddy's girl, and there was no doubt about that.

Franklin pouted. "Please?"

"We're getting a cat, Franklin," Reed reminded him.

"Why a cat and not a dog?" the seven year old questioned. "Both need looking after!"

His logic was right, but there was one simple thing that the young boy didn't understand. "Yes, but we need a pet that has more than one life to live," Reed explained, "otherwise we'll end up buying another one within three weeks."

Cocking his head to one side, Franklin screwed up his blue eyes, shaking his head a little when his blonde hair dropped into his eyes on one side. "Why?"

At that moment, Sue came in to save the day and her sons sanity. "Don't tell him the answer to that queston, Reed, you know how much he loves animals," she warned her husband. "He'll have nightmares." As she came in from the kitchen, Ben and Alicia followed.

"So," Ben asked, "is anyone going to tell us what's goin' on with Johnny and the kid, or what?"

Hearing the front door open and then close, it was clear that it was about to get explained anyway. Jessica rushed past them with quickly murmered 'hello's to Ben and Alicia, and went into her bedroom to change out of her winter clothes.

"Hallie's back," Sue explained, as Johnny came into the living room. Valeria noticed her mother in the room and started cooing for her, so Sue reached down and took the offered baby from her husband, feeling her hair immediately captured by her daughter's hands.

"You mean-?"

"Jessie's mother," Johnny confirmed, "yeah."

Ben's rocky eyebrows dropped. "I thought she was out in Australia."

"Apparently not anymore," Johnny complained, hanging up his jacket over the top of the door.

"Did you talk to her?" Sue asked, looking towards Jessica's closed bedroom door.

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm going to show her the letter that Hallie left when today is over, but we're going to have a normal Christmas day first."

"Don't worry, Johnny," Alicia assured him, as she sat herself down on the couch beside Reed and Franklin, who was completely absorbed back in the movie. "Everything will work out just fine in the end."

"It always does in the end. It's the middle part that's going to take some work," he groaned.

"Then work at it," Alicia shrugged simply. "Don't let this end badly for her."

"The only one this is ending badly for is Hallie," he said with determination.

Sue sighed heavily. "I still have a bad feeling about this," she said quietly, holding her daughter close as if wondering what she would do if her children ever had to face a situation like this.

"Women's intuition has never been scientifically proven," Reed pointed out from his place at the couch. "This is no reason to get alarmed--"

"It is for me," Johnny cut him off.

"She may be back with good intentions," Reed said.

"Do you really believe that?" his brother-in-law questioned.

He shrugged. "Maybe we all should, just for Jessica's sake."

At that moment, the young girl's bedroom door opened, and she came to her father's side. He put his arm around Jessica's shoulder and kissed the top of her head. "Let's just get through the rest of Christmas without thinking about any of this," he suggested. "We'll deal with this later."


	4. Exploration and Discovery

**Chapter Four: Exploration and Discovery**

_Dear Johnny, _

_I know that you probably want to tear this up, or, in your case, set it on fire, but please don't. I can understand why you'd want to, and I can even understand why you rightly hate my guts right now, but please hear me out before you choose to destroy this letter.  
_

_At the moment, it's about half past four in the morning. In twelve hours, I'll be seeing you again for the first time in four years, but that's not the reason why my heart won't stop pounding, and it's definately not the reason why I'm so scared. It's not the reason why I haven't slept all night either, and I know for a fact that I''m not going to be getting a decent nights sleep in a long time.  
_

_I'm about to give up my daughter. It's easy to write that down, and I hate myself for thinking that it was surprisingly easy to say as well. I'm going to give her away to a man who doesn't know her, and she doesn't know him as anything other than the fire man from the news. She doesn't know anything about you and that's my fault. I'm sorry that I've done this. I know that you're not going to believe me about that, but I am truly sorry. Mabye it's my fault for not being open minded, but I just can't deal with this. Even though I don't feel it right now, it's only a matter of time before I realise that this is going to be the most painful and heartbreaking decision that I'll ever have to make, but I'm willing to accept that to make things easier for our daughter._

_Jessica has the same abilities as you. I can't kid myself about that anymore. I watched my daughter set her entire body on fire. You don't want to see your child do that. You don't want to watch the clothes burning off her body, wondering if the same is about to happen to her skin. You don't want to be the worried parent running to the hospital, knowing that you can't do anything for your child. It's horrible, I assure you. It will be the most terrifying experience of your life._

_I have a lot to explain to you about why I never came to you about the possibility of Jessica being your daughter. It was hard. There were two other men in the equation, and I'm not proud of that. I don't like the fact that my daughter has to grow up without a father for the first three years of her life because I'm too proud to admit that I screwed up. So, I just shut off from everyone. I gave up on seeing some of our mutual friends - people fron high school that I thought I'd never lose contact with. I even stopped playing music for a while, in fear of hearing the songs we used to live by, because we had so many. Music was our life, remember?_

_It was hard, but somehow, with only a bridge between us, I avoided you for four years. THe thought of dealing with you in any way was something I just couldn't handle, especially once Jessica came into the picture. It took many sleepless nights to weight over things in my mind, and come to the decision thatt I made by not telling you. I think it took the papers to open my eyes. It's not like I believe all of the hearsay and rumours, but the downside of you being a celebrity is that I have to read about your personal life in the papers at least three times a week. I didn't want that for my daughter. I wanted her ot be able to go to school, make friends, and do everything normally without people just being interested in her father. I didn't want my child to be in the public eye because of you. It's not fair for her to be put in a pedestal in your shadow. She's too young to understand._

_I'm not going to go into all of the things there are to say about what happened on that night between us. As it ws clear from the next morning, it was the final barrier that we never should have crossed. I know that we were together before that night, just the once, the first time for both of us, but it should have been the last. That night had so many consequences for the both of us. You were a superstar, just like you always wanted to be, and I was the girl next door you left behind for fame. We were from two different worlds, and I couldn't live in the world you wanted to belong in._

_I wish I could go back to how things used to be - arguing over science homework with snacks in the kitchen. Things were simpler then. Innocent. We were innocent up until the first day you kissed me, I think. After that, we started crossing lines, and liking it too much. I think that was the most daring thing you've ever done, though, taking a chance on your best friend. Isn't that supposed to be a line that you never cross? I used to love the innocent, though. It was fun. Carefree. I loved it when you'd walk me home from school, even when we lost the innocence and we'd go to the park instead of to our houses, and just randomly make out, just for the hell of it. But that first kiss..._

_You were the first boy to ever kiss me, Johnny, and I knew I was the first girl you ever kissed. We were thirteen years old, but I'll never forget the way that your eyes gleamed at me when you first kissed me. I can still remember the feel of your body against mine when you held me so tightly, standing in the middle of the hall, right against your locker. I swear, to this day, that time actually stood still. I can remember every word we spoke, every touch of your hand, every step that we took together. I can even remember sitting in detention together when the principle caught us! I can play that agin and again in my head so perfectly, like a movie on the big screen and sometimes, when I think about it, I think I can acutally feel your arms around me still. It's just disappointing when you realise that the breath against your lips isn't that of a memory, but just the wind._

_You have no idea how much I loved you. I still do. You were Johnny Storm, the guy that every girl wanted to be with and you were more than willing to give them all a chance for it. You were in love with a different girl each week, and all the effort you put into looking good and being a good flirter...you didn't need it, Johnny. You didn't have to go out every night impressing girls. You didn't need to wine and dine them just to get some action. You didn't need to show off for their attention. You already had mine. Even when you didn't see it, I was watching, but I couldn't compare to those girls. I wasn't the same as them. I wasn't the type of girl who'd cover herself in make up for the boys. I never went out every single night to the cool kids parties. I never wore the skimpy skirts or the tiny tops. I never used my body to get attention from guys. I couldn't compare to those girls, and as much as I loved you, I got tired of trying...tired of competing._

_Everyone always thought that you were the tough guy, Johnny Storm. The Untouchable. The Untamable. Even before you were a superhero everyone wanted to be you, just for a second. I suppose their right. I mean, what could you possibly have to hate about the life you lead? People look up to you for what you do. People respect you. You're a celebrity. You don't even have to try and get people to love you, because you're you. But I know that somewhere inside of you is a man who can love and care for his daughter. The man that used to be the boy I remember. The real Johnny Storm, not the guy on the front page. The real you. The boy I feel in love with at thirteen when he pushed me up against his locker and kissed me._

_So, the next time you find yourself putting all of this on me, just remember that what we criticise in others is usually what we hate most about ourselves. One day, you'll be in the same position I was in. She'll be in pain, and she'll need you more than ever, and you'll have to decide whether you're going to be there for her or not. She's going to need you, and you'll be in the same position as me - wanting to help your child, but not being able to._

_I just didn't know what to do for her, Johnny. You live with this every day. You set yourself on fire more times in one day than you've ever passed a pop quiz in school. I didn't do this because I don't love my daughter, I did this because I do love her. It's my love for her that is what will bring me to your door tomorrow and hand her over. I'm sorry if I appear cruel by what I'll say, but I need to make sure that you have no way of handing her back to me. I'll never be able to help her with this, no matter how much I love her, but you can. You're her father, her Dad, and you're the only one who can help her now._

_Any guy can get someone pregnant, but it takes a man to be a father. Be a man, Johnny. I know that you can._

_You should know that she hates apple juice. She won't drink it, but she loves eating apples. Orange juice is her favourite. Her favourite colour is yellow, and God help you if you lose that doll of hers. She spent a night at my sisters without it once and no one got any sleep because of her crying. Her bedtime is eight o'clock but she'll always try to stay up later, and if she can't sleep she'll try to get in your bed so she's not on her own. She's desperate to start school as well, so make sure that you choose her a nice kindergarten, where she'll make lots of friends. She's social like that, like you, so she'll talk to anyone who talks to her. She's badly allergic to mushrooms as well, so don't let er anywhere near them or you'll be spending the night in hospital with her._

_I've included all the photographs I think you'll like as well. You've missed out on too many memories already. Jessica loves being in front of the camera. Bit like you really._

_I love you, don't forget that because you hate me. Tell Jessica that I love her. Don't forget me._

_All my love,_

_Hallie._

Jessica was silent for a long time after she finished taking in everything that the letter had said. Her mother had loved her - something she'd never truly believed no matter how much her father assured her. She always got the impression that her father's apparent hatred for her mother came down to the fact that she didn't love either of them, not that she loved both of them. Johnny, however, found it harder to understand Hallie's leaving when she said that she loved them both. Neither the father nor the daughter could understand how you could leave somebody you claimed to love so much.

"Wow," she said simply, when she felt that she had to say something. "That was...intense."

"Don't burst into flames," Johnny told her, pointing at her.

"I wasn't going to," she said, looking rather confused.

"I just wanted to make sure," he explained. "When I first read that letter, I came out of my room because I heard you screaming and you were hovering in the centre of the room on fire...nearly went right of the balcony."

While Johnny's heart plummeted at the mere memory, Jessica's eyes widened. "_Whoa_, really?"

"Yeah," he confirmed. "And I yelled at you because I was scared, so you ran off and hid. We looked for you for hours."

"Where did I hide?" she asked, apparently more interested in her father's story than her mother's.

"Under Franklin's crib," he remembered. "Your Uncle Reed found you under there."

She smiled to herself, remembering the old crib that she'd spend hours beside, looking through the bars at her new baby cousin that she swore she'd been like a real sister to so that he'd feel special and protected. Then, her eyes fell back to the letter. This wasn't a time for remembering the past that was clearly imprinted in her memory. No, this was a time to gain the memories she'd lost with time and age. "She really _did_ love me, then?" she asked quietly, looking back up at her father.

Johnny stroked down a stray piece of hair that had stuck up from her braid; a neat one that Sue had done for her with her new hair set that she'd gotten for Christmas. "Who wouldn't?" he smiled.

She looked at him strangely, trying to get him to answer her seriously. "Dad, she ran away and left me."

"She thought she couldn't help you," he said neutrally. "Don't get me wrong, Firefly, I'm on _your_ side for this. She did the wrong thing when she could have stayed, and the three of us could have been together, but she was scared. Sometimes people do terrible things when they're scared."

She pouted a little. "I still don't know whether I want to see her or not," she said.

"I told you earlier, Jessie, I don't expect you to make a decision straight away. No one does."

"Okay," she nodded.

"I'll tell you what, keep the letter," he told her when she folded it up and put in the envelope.

"Keep it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I've read it so many times I practically know it by heart. You keep it. Read it as much as you like, or throw it in a box somewhere and never read it again. Do whatever you want with it."

She smiled at the idea. "Okay."

"And remember," he told her for what felt like the thousandth time that day. "You're calling the shots on this one."

She nodded, and then looked at the time. It was gone ten o'clock, and usually she was fast asleep by now, but it was Christmas Day, and she wasn't done with her Christmas spirit yet. "I don't have to go to bed yet, do I?" she half-moaned.

He looked at her as if she were crazy. "Are you kidding? There's still _way_ too much Christmas comedy on, and I'm not watching it on my own," he told her. "I'll look stupid if I'm the only person around laughing."

"In that case, can I have some ice cream?"

"Yeah,"

"Cool!" she cried, jumping up from the couch and heading towards the kitchen.

"Jessie!" he called out, and she stopped in the doorway as he grinned at her. "Just bring in the whole tub with two spoons," she matched his grin and ran back into the kitchen. "And be careful not to melt it all this time!" he reminded her, remembering a messy incident with a whole tub of melted ice cream.

"I will!" she laughed from the kitchen.

----

Upstairs, Sue and Reed had just finished putting the children to bed. Franklin had been reluctant to bring Christmas day to and end as his parents reminded him that it was hours past his bedtime, but by the time Reed had carried his son up the stairs he was fast asleep. It had been a struggle to get him into his pyjamas, but thankfully he had woken up so that it wasn't a completely failed attempt. Reed then joined Sue in the nursery, where she was just laying Valeria down in her crib. They stood there for a moment, just watching their baby daughter.

"Val's _first_ Christmas," Sue mused with a smile. "...and now it's over."

"I think she was still a bit too young to understand it," he pointed out to her.

"Next year will be better," she agreed. "Both of them will understand that there's presents underneath the wrapping paper."

Reed laughed quietly. "Yes, Franklin has _no_ trouble understanding that."

"At least Val enjoyed the unwrapping," Sue pointed out.

"I would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't been convinced she was going to choke on the paper," he remembered.

Sue moved so that she was standing behind him, with her arms around his waist, still both looking at their daughter together. "She wasn't going to swallow it, Reed. She's just at _that_ age, you know...exploring everything with her mouth." She kissed his neck from behind. "You just worry too much."

Reed sighed, nodding. "Besides...all that business with Hallie...it made me think how terrified _I'd _be if someone tried to take _my_ children away from me."

He turned in her embrace so that they were both holding onto each other tightly. "Things with Hallie are going to be awful, we all know that," Sue whispered. "But no one is _ever_ going to take our babies away from us."

Reed smiled down at her. "Franklin's seven, he's hardly a baby."

"He'll _always_ be my baby," she said protectively. "Even when he's a grandfather he'll _still_ be my baby."

"Correction," he cut in. "_Our_ baby."

She grinned. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

They kissed passionately, something that hadn't faded in their relationship. However, when things started to heat up, they broke apart. After all, this was nothing to take place beside their daughter's crib.

"I'm starting to see why Val likes this exploration thing," Reed said.

Sue gaped at him for a moment. "Cheeky. Come on, let's go to bed."

He brought his lips to her neck once again. "You read my mind."


	5. On Her Terms

**Chapter Five: On Her Terms**

Boxing Day morning dawned way too early for Johnny's liking. He and Jessica had stayed up until after midnight watching television, and it wasn't until he had suddenly jerked awake on the couch that he realised that both of them had fallen asleep there. It hadn't taken much persuasion to get his daughter into her bedroom for the rest of the night, and she was still sleeping now, but his slumber had been interrupted by the sound of the mail arriving again.

It was only because he had stayed in bed, debating whether or not he should get up and get the mail himself that he missed the caller. The caller that was no doubt Hallie. That was how he ended up in the kitchen, staring at another Christmas card that had arrived. He went down the hall, checking that Jessica was still asleep, which she was, and then he back tracked into the kitchen and reached for the phone.

"Hello?" answered the voice at the other end.

"Sue, hi, it's me," he said.

"Oh, morning Johnny."

"I didn't wake you guys up, did I?" he said, checking the clock.

"No, Val was up early this morning so we've been up for a while. Are you and Jess coming up for breakfast?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about," he told her. "Jessie's still in bed but I got up a while ago and there was another card from Hallie at the door."

"Another one? What did it say?"

"She wants me to met her in a cafe downtown to talk," he revealed, checking the time and location in the card again. "This morning."

"So soon?"

"Clearly she's got something planned."

"Are you going to go?"

He rubbed his forehead. "I don't want to, but I told Jessie it's her decision whether she wants to see Hallie or not, so I guess I should go in case she decides she wants to see her mother. Is it okay for Jessie to have breakfast with you guys while I go?" he checked.

"Sure, I was just about to start cooking. Send her up when she's ready."

"Thanks, Sue, I'll be back as soon as I can. I know that it's Boxing Day and you wanted to do family stuff--"

"Jessica is family," Sue cut him off. "Besides, with another girl around I might be able to convince Reed into some early sale shopping."

"Great idea," Johnny nodded, even though Sue couldn't see him. "Jessie's got her Christmas money from Dad to spend, and there's no way I'm going sale shopping after last year."

"Okay, I'll see you soon."

"Bye, sis."

Just as he hung up the phone, a bright-eyed Jessica appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Who was that on the phone?" she asked curiously, as she sat down at the kitchen table.

"Your aunt," he told her, still holding the card in his hands. "I've gotta head out somewhere this morning so she said you can have breafkast with her and then you can go shopping together."

"Okay," she said, smiling at the idea before noticing the card in his hands. "That card's a bit late, Christmas was yesterday."

"Yeah, mail is delayed over Christmas," he reminded her. "My old college roomate sent it out, he must have missed the last mail day." Okay, it was a blatent lie, but he didn't want to tell Jessica he was going to meet her mother.

Thankfully, she accepted his lie. "What are they having for breakfast upstairs?" she asked.

"You know what it's like up there," he half-laughed. "You can have anything you want."

"Anything?" she grinned.

"Pretty much," he nodded, shoving the card into his pocket.

"Is ice cream breakfast?" she tested him.

He gave her 'the look'. The Dad Look. "It wasn't eight years ago, and it still isn't now. Come on, get dressed and I'll take you upstairs."

It didn't take long for Jessica to reappear from her bedroom fully dressed, but Johnny took the same opportunity to get changed out of the t-shirt and sweat pants he'd worn to bed. Jessica instantly noticed the sudden change in her father's attire, but waited until they were in the elevator to say anything.

"You're all dressed up," she said simply.

"Am I?" he asked, looking down at himself.

She nodded. "You normally wear that jacket when we go to Grandpa's."

She was right, he couldn't deny that. "I guess so," he smiled. "Maybe I just wanted to look nice today."

"Where are you going?" she asked him.

"I've got to go and meet someone."

"Who?"

"Someone," he repeated.

"Where?" she asked.

"Does it matter?" he asked her, rather used to her usual barrage of questions by now.

"Yes, because if there's an emergency I need to know where you are," she told him, with wisdom and maturity beyond her years.

He raised an eyebrow. "That's the sort of thing I should be saying to you, Firefly," he reminded her. "Besides, you'll be with your aunt and uncle and there won't be any emergencies."

She simply shrugged. "You never know with your line of work."

He smirked at her, throwing his arm around her shoulders and bringing her into a crushing hug. "I'm not working today."

--

Johnny arrived at the cafe in due time. It was a quiet cafe, one that he knew the owner of, strangely, and it was somewhere that he often went when he needed to speak with someone without being harrassed by the press. Had Hallie known this? If she did, it was impossible, he realised. He ordered his coffee and took it to the table in the corner, a small two-seater table that was furthest away from the windows. He didn't want to chance being seen with the mother of his child by the papperazzi.

She arrived a few minutes after him, giving him a glance as she walked to the counter. He watched her as she placed her drink order; a mocha latte, the same he remembered her to drink. It was definately her. Her hair was shorter, more controlled, than it had been the last time he'd seen her, and she looked as if she'd aged more than she should have, though there was still an element of their youth around her. Her eyes were still the same, though, and her hair was the same colour, untouched by the onset of grey roots, as he could tell from the distance. Yes, it was definately her.

She walked towards his table without collecting her drink and sat down opposite him. "I was worried you wouldn't come," she said as she slid into the seat.

He cut right to the chase. "What are you doing here, Hallie?" he asked her.

To his surprise, she actually smiled at him. "You didn't really thinking I'd forget where you were, did you?" she asked him. "You're not the sort of person who can hide away from the world, especially when you're the man you are and you don't move house."

He looked at her in annoyance. "Look, I don't want to be here all day," he told her, keeping his voice low so that they weren't overheard by the few other people in the cafe.

Her smile faded. "What? You're not even the slightest bit happy to see me?" she asked him.

"I think it's best that I don't answer that, so whatever it is you came here to do, just drop it. Drop it, and leave us alone," he told her.

"I can't," she said simply, and there was a silence that hung in the air awkwardly as the waitress brought Hallie's coffee over. When she'd disappeared, Hallie continued. "I tried, Johnny...but I just can't forget the way you used to look at me, and how different it was from the last time you looked at me. Why can't you see my viewpoint just this once?" she asked him.

He nodded slowly. He knew Hallie inside and out, at least, he used to. He knew all her mind games, all her scapegoats, and he knew this trick. "You want to see Jessie," he realised.

"I'm her mother," she said, as if that were enough justification.

"Perhaps you should have acted like that before," he said, taking a drink from his own coffee.

She glared at him. "Don't criticise me, Johnny. I was a great mother, I was just upset-"

"You were pretty clear about what you said and what you did," he interrupted her, matching her glare as he checked that no one was listening in on them still. "You gave her up because you were scared."

"I told you in the letter, I didn't know what else to do," she explained.

"If you'd spent longer than ten seconds making a decision you might have come up with another idea," he pointed out to her.

"Johnny, did you honestly think I'd never want to see my daughter again?" she tested him.

"Maybe not," he admitted, "but I obviously made the mistake of thinking you'd made up your goddamn mind for once."

"I have made up my mind," she snapped back quickly. "I want to see her."

"You abandoned her last time."

"I couldn't do anything for her," she justified.

"You could have been there for her, Hal," he told her, as if it were the simplest answer in the world which, to him, it was. "You could have asked me to help her without disappearing to the other side of the world for eight years."

"I came back," she said quietly.

"That doesn't make it any better," he said in a dangerously low voice.

"I thought you'd be happy to know your daughter," she said, tears brimming in her eyes.

"I am happy," he nodded. "Very happy. We're both happy. But that comes at the expense of my daughter asking me why you don't love her anymore," he revealed.

Hallie was silent for a moment. "She asks that?" she whispered.

He could see in her eyes that him telling her that had hurt her. And it should have done. He wanted it to hurt her a million times more than it had hurt Jessica. "Not as much anymore, but when you first left, yeah."

"What did you tell her?" she asked, staring down into her coffee.

"What was I supposed to tell her? I told her that I didn't know."

She looked up at him sharply. "Oh, you can't be serious!"

"I'm very serious these days," he corrected her. "It's part of being a responsible parent."

"I'm her mother, Johnny," she repeated. "She needs to be with her mother."

"Does she?" he challenged. "Because we're doing just fine without you."

"She'll be a teenager soon," Hallie reminded him. "She's going to need a mother. Teenage girls need women around them to help them through certain...changes..."

But rather than be put off by apparent 'girl issues', Johnny was prepared for this, and handled Hallie's tip rather well. "Actually, Hal, Sue's had a few talks with Jessie about puberty already, so we're going to have no trouble in that department at all." Hallie glared at him even harder. "Look, I didn't come here to argue," he backtracked. "If you want to see Jessie, then it happens on her terms."

"What?"

"I had a talk with her yesterday, and I answered and questions that she asked," he told her. "I gave her the letter to read, too. She's eleven years old now and she's very mature for her age. I told her that if she wants to see you then she can, but if she doesn't then she doesn't have to."

"I want to see her," she repeated firmly.

"Look, I get that you come back her and want to see her on your terms but she isn't three years old anymore," he pointed out to her. "She's got her own say in things. In our house, we listen to each other. Jessie and I listen to each other and we make decisions together. I know that you're not used to doing that, but she's going to be calling the shots on this."

Hallie was quiet for a moment as they stared each other down, and eventually she broke away, sighing. "How am I supposed to know what her decision is?" she asked.

"Have you got a cellphone?" he asked her.

She took out a pen, and quickly scrawled down her cell phone number on the back of a napkin, handing it to Johnny. "I want you to call me as soon as she's made her decision."

"Sure, but just so you know I've told her to take all the time she needs." While she glared once again at his answer, he downed his coffee in one before standing up to leave. "And Hallie," she looked up at him. "Don't you dare break my daughter's heart again."


	6. I Never Knew That Everything Was Falling

CHAPTER SIX: I Never Knew That Everything Was Falling Through

A week passed, and it passed quickly. Jessica made no move to even consider a decision regarding her mother, but as promised, Hallie kept her distance, no doubt waiting in hope for a phonecall from her daughter. Johnny was glad for this, wanting Jessica to take her time and really consider her options, but part of him wanted this over and done with as quickly as possible. In fact, a very large part of him wanted that. But nothing was said about it. Any time Johnny reminded her that she could talk to him if she wanted to, she brushed him off, coolly telling him that she was okay and that she was still thinking.

_Still thinking_, he'd play back in his mind. That meant she was considering it.

One morning the following week, the day before the new school term started, Valeria was due to have her shots done. Reed had disappeared off to the doctors with her, grumbling in advance about the fact that the press were still camped outside wanting a picture of the baby girl, which had left Sue and Franklin alone in the apartment. Naturally, within seconds of the door closing it was open again, with Alicia and Ben joining them. Johnny had decided to take Jessica out for the day before the school term, mainly for a distraction. So, while Sue cleaned the kitchen, Franklin was eager to show Ben the newest toy he'd added to his collection. However, it wasn't long before he was wandering into the kitchen with the cordless phone.

"Mom, Nana Ev's on the phone," he told her. "She wants to talk to you."

She smiled as she took the phone from him. "Thanks sweetie." Unlike most women, she had no problem with her mother-in-law. Although that may be because they lived quite a distance away and they only saw them every few months. She lifted the phone to her ear, following Franklin into the living room.

"Hi, Evelyn. How are you?...No, Reed's no here right now, he's taken Val for her shots. He's due back any minute, is it important?...what?...Oh God...oh no, thats...Oh, Evelyn, I'm so sorry. Is there _anything _I can do? Of course, I'll get him to call you as soon as he gets back. Goodbye."

She hung up the phone, staring at it for a moment. Ben noticed the look on her face and frowned. "Susie?"

"Mom," Franklin said, following his uncle's stare. "You look sad."

"I'm not sad, honey," she said, snapping back into a bright demeanor. "Can you go and open the window in your bedroom, hon? I think we should get some air through the room as your father painted the window ledge."

"Okay," he said, and without question he went to his room.

"All right, I know that look," Ben said, as Sue's face fell again the second her son was out of sight. "What happened?"

"Reed's father had a heart attack this morning," she revealed quietly. She kept her voice low on purpose, knowing that Franklin's latest ability could surface at any moment, and usually the most inappropriate moment at that.

"Is he gonna be okay?" Ben asked.

She shook her head slowly. "He's conscious, asking to see his family. They don't think he'll make it through the night."

At that moment, the front door opened agian and Reed came in. Valeria was hoisted on his hip, resting her head against his shoulder as she grizzled lightly. Reed continued trying to soothe her even as he took off his coat, but this was hindered when Franklin bolted out of his room and threw his arms around his legs at top speed. "Dad, you're home!"

"Hi, Franklin. Did you have a good morning?" he asked.

"Yeah, I missed you though." That was what Reed loved about his son. Franklin missed him even though he'd been gone a grand total of ninety minutes.

"Well, I missed you too."

"Are you home for the rest of the day?" he asked.

Reed nodded. "Absoluetly."

"Cool!" Franklin said.

Sue just watched the interaction between father and son. Reed's smile was undeniable as Franklin chatted away to him about his latest idea for a ninja killer robot. How was she supposed to shatter his mood? Reed caught her eye and made his way over to her, mistaking her concerned expression to be aimed at Valeria after her shots and check up. He kissed his wife on the cheek and smiled at her.

"Everything's fine," he assured her. "She'll be a bit sore and more than likely scream the house down like she did last time. We've just got to watch for a fever and try to keep it down as usual if it appears." He noticed her face. She really hadn't been listening to a word he'd said. "Sue? Is everything okay, sweetheart?"

She snapped out of her daze, where she had been stroking Valeria's head to try and calm her. "Uh...Ben, can you two watch the kids for a moment? I need to talk to Reed alone."

"Sure, you want me to take Val?" Ben asked, coming over to them.

"Please," Sue nodded. "You can put her in the playpen if you want..."

"No way," Ben said, shaking his head as he lifted the infant from Reed's shoulder. "She needs a hug from her Uncle Ben."

In a confused daze, Reed allowed himself to be led into the bedroom. Sue closed the door behind them and then stood, wringing her hands with nerves. "Honey, sit down," she told him.

He frowned. "What's wrong?"

She bit her lip. "Your mother just called."

Reed's frown disappeared and he smiled, almost playfully. "Let me guess, she's mad that we didn't get to go and see her and Dad for New Years..."

"Reed, honey, please sit down..." Sue stressed.

At this, Reed did sit down and she placed herself beside him. Sighing, she took his hands in her own. "What happened?" he asked.

"It's your father," she told him.

His heart pounded in his chest. "My father, what?"

"He...he had a heart attack this morning." Reed was silent for a long time, and Sue rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb. "He's conscious, and he's asking to see his family but...Reed, sweetheart...the doctor's don't think he's going to make it through the night."

At this he whispered, his voice choking out of his throat. "We've got to go out there."

She nodded. "Of course. Do you want me to book a flight?"

It was his turn to nod. "I'd better call my mother."

"Okay," she said, remembering her promise to Evelyn. "Reed...what about the kids?" she asked him. "I know that this is way too much for Valeria to understand, so it's more Franklin...this is his grandfather. Should we leave the children with Johnny or Ben, or would you like them to come?"

"I want them with me," he answered immediately. "Franklin will want to say goodbye and my father would want to see him and Valeria if this is..." he trailed off, unable to say 'the end'.

"I'll go and get our things packed and sort out a flight," she said simply. She stood up to leave, but Reed kept his hand intwined with hers, pulling her back gently.

"Sue?" he whispered, keeping his eyes on their hands.

"Yes, honey?"

"Thank you for being the one to tell me," he told her.

She nodded enough though he wasn't looking at her, and then put her arms around him. She was almost disturbed at how collected he was, but she knew it was his way of dealing with things and she didn't question it. When he broke away from her to get the phone, she left the room, knowing that she had to explain the same thing to her son now.

--

Johnny and Jessica were sitting at the kidchen table, arguing, as usual, about nothing, and eating ice cream. "Auntie Sue says you were just lazy," Jessica protected, smirking at him as she did so.

"Well, Auntie Sue's wrong," Johnny told her, fighting her spoon for the bigger scoop of chocolate ice cream.

"No, she's not," Jessica pointed out to him. "She's never wrong. You said that it's really annoying that she's never wrong."

He was about to argue back when the door sounded. "Okay, I'll get the door but if all that ice cream is gone when I get back you're in trouble," he threatened lightly.

"You'd better be quick then," she called to him as he went down the hall.

Johnny wasn't surprised to see Sue standing there when he opened the door, nor was he surprised to see Valeria on her hip. "Sue, hey, come in."

"I can't," she said. "We're on our way out of town."

"Out of town?" he frowned.

"There's been an emergency," she said. "Reed's father had a heart attack this morning. He probably won't make it through the night and he wants to say goodbye to his family."

"Jesus," Johnny said, leaning against the door frame and running his hand over his head. "Reed okay?

She shook her head. "He won't admit it, but he's not taking it well. I don't think anyone would."

"You're taking the kids?"

She nodded. "We talked to Franklin about it and he's decided that he wants to say goodbye to his grandfather. I don't think he understands it properly but he wants to see him, and Nathaniel's asking for him as well as Reed. We're taking Val too because she had her shots earlier and I wouldn't wish her upon any babysitter after that."

"Are you sure? I can watch her, it's no trouble," he offered.

"I know, Johnny, but..." she trailed off, looking down the hall. "Reed's taking this very...silently...but he wants to have the kids with him. I think it'll help him."

He nodded. "Sure, I get it. When will you be back?"

"We're staying for the funeral, so at least a few days. Maybe a week. I just wanted to stop in on our way out and say that I've got my cellphone if you need me. Oh, and Franklin wants to know if Jess will feed his goldfish while we're gone...can you please let school know what's going on with Franklin and...obviously we can't watch Jessica tonight," she rambled.

"Yeah, of course," he nodded. "Give Reed and his mom my best, yeah?"

She nodded. "I will. See you soon."

She started back down the hall, but he called out to her. "Sue." She stopped and turned back to him. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"He was your father-in-law," he reminded her.

"I'm fine," she repeated. "I'm more worried about Reed and Franklin."

"Okay, but...you need me, you call, and I'll come straight up there."

She smiled. "Thanks."

"I'll see you soon."

"Bye."

He closed the door as she left, going back into the kitchen in a completely different mood.

"Who was that?" Jessica asked, as he fell back into his chair.

"Your aunt."

"Am I still sleeping over there tonight?" she asked.

He shook his head. "No, they had to go out of town."

She frowned. "All of them?" He nodded. "Where am I staying tonight, then?"

"Here, I guess. You wanna come watch the football down the bar with me?" he asked her.

"Can I get a back of peanuts?" she tested, tilting her head to one side.

"Sure," he half-laughed at the expression on her face.

"Then yeah, I'll go."

He took a deep breath. "Jessie, while we're here with the ice cream I better tell you something," he said softly.

She went quiet for a moment. "Is this about mom?" she asked.

"No, this isn't about your mother." Was he imagining it, or did she just sigh with relief? "They had to go out of town because Reed's father got very sick. He had a bad heart, and he's in the hospital now."

"Is he gonna get better?"

He shook his head slowly. "I don't think so, baby."

"Oh," she said, unsure of what else to say, unsure of what that meant.

"I know that you didn't know Reed's dad, but he was Frankie and Val's grandpa, so they've gone up together to say goodbye," he explained.

"Will Franklin be back before school?" she asked.

"No, because you've got school tomorrow," he said.

"Okay," she said simply, going back to the ice cream.

"You still want to come and watch the football tonight, or shall we stay in?" he asked her, having never really needed to talk to her about death before, and wondering how she was going to take this.

"No, let's go to the bar," she said, standing up from where she sat. "I like the lady behind the bar."

He frowned at her as she snapped the lid back onto the ice cream. "You're a bit young to be making friends at a bar," he decided.

"No, I'm not," she smiled gently. "I've already made one."

He shook his head, wondering how on Earth she could possible get more like himself. "Come on, let's get some dinner down there as well."

**A/N: Sorry guys, I didn't realise I'd not written for this in so long. I apologize :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven:**

Sitting in one of the most back-end bars of Brooklyn, Johnny kept a close eye on the eleven-year-old daughter sat beside him. He'd happily have gone to a fancy bar, but when sports was on he didn't want to be interrupted for autographs and pictures: he just wanted to watch the game with his college buddy Mikey. They always came here to the same bar for peace and alcohol, where the few people who did join them understood the need for privacy, because they came here to seek some for themselves. Still, while he knew that no one in the bar could stand a chance against Jessica if any trouble kicked off, he didn't want his little girl on the six o'clock news.

However, just as his team of choice missed a shot, he, along with every other male in the bar, sent his fist flying into the air, forgetting the impressionable youth at his side as he grumbled: "Goddamn Giants!"

At that moment, the barmaid brought their drinks over. She put the beer bottles down in front of Johnny and Mikey, both of them mumbling a thanks to her without lifting their eyes from the television set in the corner. The barmaid, Louisa, threw her red hair over her shoulders as she placed a coke down in front of Jessica and then glanced at her watch.

"Hey there, cutie, what you are doing here so late?"

Jessica pointed her thumb at Johnny. "Watching football with my dad."

"Oh yeah?" she asked.

"Yeah," she nodded back. "It's a distraction, I think."

"For who?" she asked, noticing that Johnny didn't even see that the two of them were talking. "You or him?"

"Me, I think," Jessica replied, wrinkling her nose in thought. "My cousin's grandpa who I only met, like, twice died this morning so my aunt and uncle went to see Frankie's grandma for a while. I think he's trying to distract me from the 'dead' stuff even though I'm not a baby anymore and I know all about things dying after my goldfish died. Maybe it's a distraction for him though, because it was my aunt that told me about the goldfish when he died, and Dad's distracted anyway 'cause we got a 'situation' at the moment," she rambled.

"A 'situation'?" she repeated, mimicking the way that Jessica exaggerated the word.

She nodded. "That's what we call it so Dad doesn't go crazy about it."

Louisa laughed. "So, that's how you end up watching football on a school night, huh?"

"Guess so."

"Who do you want to win?" Louisa asked.

"The Goddamn Giants," Jessica recited perfectly.

Louisa laughed harder. "Honey, I think there are some times that you're not supposed to listen to your father," she pointed out.

"Maybe," Jessica shrugged.

"Want some chips, on the house?" she offered.

Jessica brightened up. "Wow, really? Thank you!"

Louisa disappeared to get the chips and Johnny turned around, reacting to her words slowly. "Did you just say 'goddamn Giants'?" he asked her.

Innocently, she smiled. "No, Dad. You did?"

He didn't look convinced. "Really?"

"Really, really," she nodded.

"Hey, Jess!" Louisa called from down the bar, launching a bag of chips into the air. "Heads up!"

Jessica caught them effortlessly. "Thanks, Louisa!"

"No problem, kid."

As she went back to her work, Johnny turned to his daughter, looking at her strangely. "You're on first name terms with the barmaid?" he asked her.

"Uh huh," she nodded. "You don't talk much when you and Mikey watch the football, and when you do it's all curse words that I'm not allowed to say, so I've got to talk to someone," she explained.

Johnny looked at the packet in her hand. "Since when did you go around asking for free chips?"

"I didn't," she shrugged. "Louisa asked me if I wanted them."

Johnny looked down the bar at the red-haired woman. "So, her name's Louisa, huh?"

"Yeah," she nodded, catching the look that her father was giving. "Ask her out."

"What?"

"Go ask her on a date," she repeated, with more detail.

Johnny laughed. "You're eleven, what do you know about dates?"

"I know you haven't had one in forever," she said smartly.

"Being that observant will get you into trouble one day," he pointed out, reaching to steal one of her chips.

She held the packet away from him. "You're being evasive!" she complained.

"Do you even know what that word means?" he asked her with a laugh.

"Yes," she said proudly. "Because Auntie Sue says you're evasive when you don't answer the questions."

"You didn't ask me a question," he pointed out.

"That's because it wasn't a question," she shot back at him.

He shook his head, laughing at her. "I'm not doing it."

"But you want to!" she insisted.

"Do I?"

"Yeah, you're looking at her," she pointed out, as if that were reason enough.

"I look at a lot of people," he reminded. "It doesn't mean I want to take them all out on dates."

"No, but you're looking at her differently. You want her in the pants."

Beer shot from his mouth. "Excuse me!"

"What?" she asked innocently. "You do!"

"I'm more worried about where you learnt that expression!" he exclaimed.

Jessica waved it off. "Everyone says it. Do you think she's pretty?"

Stunned, he just nodded, wiping the beer from his chin. "Yes, she's pretty."

"There you go!" Jessica grinned. "You think she's pretty, and I know she's a lovely person because she gives me free chips and talks to me when you're watching the football. You should ask her out," she decided.

He regarded her with narrowed eyes. "What if I do?"

She held out her hand for him to shake. "I promise to get up and go to school tomorrow without a fuss," she swore.

"No grumpy morning moods?" he checked.

"Nope."

"Fine," he said, shaking her hand. "I'll ask her."

Johnny stood up, making his way to the far end of the bar when Louisa was cleaning some glasses by hand. As soon as he was gone, Mikey sighed, and Jess just held out her hands. "You never said you were going to talk him into it," he grumbled.

"You bet me he wouldn't ask her," she reminded him. "Pay up."

Louisa put the glass down when she saw Johnny. "Hey, what can I get you?" she asked.

"Your phone number would be nice," he said smoothly.

She gaped at him. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sorry," he smiled. "I don't mean to be forward but I've just been talked into this by an eleven year old who knows nothing about relationships."

Louisa looked suspicious. "Talked into what?"

"What time should I pick you up?" he asked her instead.

"Excuse me?" she repeated, louder this time.

"Saturday night. What time shall I pick you up?"

"You never even asked me if I was free," she pointed out.

"Damn," he said sarcastically. "I've been out of the game for so long I'm doing it all backwards."

At this, Louisa laughed. "Nice try."

"Thank you."

She looked down the bar. "You're asking me out because your daughter told you to?" she asked, just to get it straight in her head.

"Yeah, as embarrassing as it sounds," he admitted.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm working on Saturday night."

"When do you get off?" he asked.

She raised an eyebrow at him. "You've dated a barmaid before, I'm sure?"

"Yeah, actually," he mumbled. Several of them, but she didn't need to know that.

"Then you should know that barmaid's get off late," she pointed out.

"I guess so," he mumbled with a sigh. "Well, can't blame a guy for trying. Now just gotta go and break it to the kid, you know…"

"Wait," she called as he started walking away. "I guess one date won't hurt."

"On the contrary," he said, throwing her a winning smile. "I assure you it'll be amazing."

"I'll be free Friday night, as long as I can get a babysitter."

"Me too," he laughed. "You've got kids?"

"A boy. Eight years old," she nodded.

"Even more in common," he pointed out. "Except mine's a girl and eleven." He reached for a napkin and scrawled down a number. "This is my cell number. Call me and we can arrange something for Friday. I'd stay and arrange it now, but I'll look like a real bad father if I keep my kid out any longer on a school night," he realised.

She laughed. "Good call."

He headed back over to the other end of the bar, putting his hands on Jessica's shoulders. "Come on, Firefly, you've got school in the morning?"

She looked up at him with a smile. "How'd it go?" she asked.

"None of your business," he teased.

Jessica's jaw dropped. "Of course it's my business, I told you to do it! Are you going on a date?"

"Yes."

Her smile grew. "When?"

"Friday. Happy now?"

"Very," she nodded, before leaning over to Mikey again. "That's another ten bucks."

Watching Mikey crush another bill into Jessica's hand with a grumble, he sighed. "Who taught you how to gamble?" Johnny asked.

"You did," she said sweetly.

* * *

As they were walking into their apartment they bumped into Ben and Alicia, who were also returned from a night out. "Hey guys," Johnny waved them down.

"Hey, matchsticks," Ben mumbled.

"You're out a bit late on a school night," Alicia noted.

"We went to watch the football," Jessica said enthusiastically.

"Did you have fun?" Alicia asked her.

"Yeah, Dad's going to-"

"Firefly, you go in and get ready for bed," he said, handing her the front door key.

She pouted at him, clearly wanting to tell her story. "But-"

"Go," he told her.

She huffed, taking the key that her father gave her and heading to the apartment. Ben looked at them in amusement before focusing on Johnny. "Something you don't want us to know?" he asked gruffly.

Johnny, however, chose to avoid the direct question. "Can you guys do me a favour?" he asked.

"Of course," Alicia said, before Ben could give the opposite answer.

"Are you busy Friday night?"

"We're goin' to Alicia's parents for dinner but we're in after six," Ben told him.

"Great," he nodded. "You mind watching Jessie? I don't know if Sue and Reed will be back by then and I have plans."

"Plans?" Alicia asked curiously.

"Does 'plans' mean 'party'?" Ben asked him.

"No, actually, I'm going on a date," Johnny told them.

Alicia nodded. "So, that's what Jessie was trying to tell us," she realised.

"A date?" Ben laughed. "You?"

"Yes," he said stubbornly. "Don't sound so surprised."

"Well, it's been a while," he justified.

"Which is why I'd really like to go," he told them.

"Who's the unlucky girl?" Ben asked him, still somewhat laughing at him.

"Just a friend from the bar," he said vaguely. "Might take her out to dinner."

Alicia raised an eyebrow. "Would this be Louisa who gives out free chips by any chance?" she asked.

Johnny frowned. "You know about Louisa?"

Ben nodded. "We all do. Jess says that you 'want her in the pants', whatever that's supposed to mean," he revealed.

Johnny groaned. "I'd like to think that doesn't mean what I think it does, but I've got a feeling that it probably does. Can you watch her or not?"

"Sure," Ben nodded, knowing that Alicia would never let him hear the end of it if he refused. "You want us to come up to yours or bring her down here?"

"You mind coming up?" he asked. "I don't know how late I'll be in."

"Remember, it's a first date," Alicia warned him playfully.

"Johnny doesn't normally get to a second date," Ben reminded her.

"Hey," he protested. "This one's different."

"How?" Ben asked. "Other than that she has a job that doesn't involve her taking her clothes off for cash?"

"Jessie likes her as well," Johnny told him. "And Louisa's got a kid too, so she understands that stuff. We're going to do this the grown up way."

"Oh, you finally learned about that," Ben admired.

"Very funny," he grumbled. "I'll see you guys tomorrow sometime," he said, heading upstairs to have a word with his daughter about how much she intended to tell their family about his apparent date with Louisa.


	8. I'd Rather Run The Other Way

**Chapter Eight: I'd Rather Run The Other Way**

"Reed, did you hear me?"

Reed looked up to see his wife standing in the doorway. He'd been alone in this room for over an hour now, just...sitting. Remembering. He knew that he was here for his father, and that he should have been spending this time thinking of his father, being with his father, but instead he was standing in the bedroom that had last been decorated thirty years ago. Nothing had changed since he was eight years old and had hung his own hand-drawn pictures of the solar system on the walls. The white on the paper had aged into a parchment grey now, but the colouring crayons hadn't aged at all, neither had the handwriting which was rather sophisticated for the wobbly hand it came from. This was the childhood he'd experienced, but it was something that his father had never been a part of it.

Yet it had been preserved, untouched from the day he had left for M.I.T. except for the fact that his mother had replaced the small single bed with a double bed. It was used a guest room even though his desk still stood in the corner and his own choice of wall art dominated the room.

He'd been unable to face staying in this room himself, so Franklin was enjoying a double bed all to himself with Valeria's travel crib set up beside it. Sue had visited it several times the night before, as it had been late when they arrived and their son had woken a few times confused about the change of location. He'd stayed in the room across the hall, in the secondary guest room, listening as Sue explained to their little boy why they were at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

"Reed, what are you doing up here alone?" Sue asked him, as she joined him on the bed.

"I don't really know," he answered honestly.

She pressed her shoulder to his and took his hand, a pose they now adopted instinctively. "Your mother wants to go back to the hospital as soon as you're ready," she told him. "If you're not ready though, I can take her and come back for you-"

"No, we'll go now," he decided, knowing that he could put it off no longer and that the hour he'd stayed upstairs on his own had been an hour he couldn't spend at the hospital. He didn't make any move off the bed though, deciding that the feel of his wife's hand covering his was a much more inviting feeling than the one which awaited him at that hospital. "What about the kids?"

"There's no one we can really leave them with, they'll have to come. I'll wait outside with Val though, give you all some time."

"What about Franklin?" he asked. "Does Franklin want to see him?"

She nodded, and Reed's heart sunk. "I talked to him just now, he said that he wants to but I told him that it would depend how sick he was. I know that it's about them saying goodbye and that we should give them this chance, but there's no sense upsetting your father or Franklin if it's going to..."

"Make things worse," he finished for her.

She sighed. "Yeah."

"What did you tell him?" he asked, looking at her. "Does he know what's going to happen?"

She shook her head. "I tried, but...I guess that part of him he gets from me he gets from Johnny as well, and I just kept seeing Johnny the morning that mom died and I couldn't do it. I knew how heartbroken he'd be, so I told him that Grandpa was sick, very sick. I know that you're hurting too, but I thought Franklin might handle it a little better if it came from the both of us together. He needs his Dad too," she added with a sad smile, tightening her grip on his hand.

"You're right," he nodded, before standing up without releasing her hand. When he pulled her to her feet they fell right into each others arms for a moment, taking a breath before the plunge. "Let's go."

* * *

They'd arrived just as the doctors were doing some tests, so they'd been asked to wait outside a while. Unfortunately this had coincided with Franklin's demanding stomach, so Sue had taken the kids down to the cafeteria to feed them both. That gave Reed a moment alone with his mother. It would have been a perfect time for them to talk, to try and draw some comfort from one another, but Evelyn Richards did nothing but take a shuddering breath, grasp her son's hand and thank him for being there. There was nothing else really to say. No false hope left now, and he understood that.

But while Sue was downstairs, the doctors finished with their tests and told them that they could go in. Evelyn didn't move from her seat, instead insisting that Reed see his father alone. She gave no reason, just telling him that it was their time together, and he suspected that they had time already to say their goodbyes, probably aiming to get them as soon as they could in case it was their only chance. He understood why. It was why no matter how quickly they left the house on an emergency, he always kissed Sue goodbye.

The way his father had looked made him feel sick. It was clear where the doctors had attempted to disguise the amount of wires connecting him to the monitoring equipment, knowing that the grandchildren would be visiting, but as an adult, Reed knew better, and as a scientist, he knew too well. He knew what the equipment was and would rather not think about the most of it. Still, he had sat down by his father, and attempted to say his goodbyes.

"The worst thing," Nathaniel told him, "is knowing what you'll be missing. I don't mean the things that haven't happened yet...the kids wedding days, seeing you grow old...but the things that you take for granted. Playing with my grandchildren, bugging you to put a third one in my arms, watching my son be a hero, kissing my wife goodnight, taking her a cup of coffee...all the small things that mean more than anything."

"Dad..." he started quietly.

"I'll miss my bikes..." he continued as if he hadn't heard his son. "...your mother...her cooking...knowing that you're upstairs studying away even though I wanted you to be in the garage working on the bikes with me."

Reed smiled sadly. "I haven't been upstairs studying for a long time, Dad."

"But look where it got you," he pointed out. "Damned be anything I said to you about books and education, look at the man you turned out to be. My boy's a goddamn superhero. Do you know how many guys down the bar can say that?" he coughed a little, a sign that he was getting over-excited, and he calmed himself down. "The point is, son, that I couldn't be more proud of you. I don't care about any of the fights we had before, they were nothing. I raised a boy who became a man, I raised a good student who turned out to be one of the greatest lab coats in the world, I raised you with good morals and you saved the world how many times now?"

"Twelve," he mumbled, as if the number wasn't important.

"And on top of that, you married a good woman. I always liked that Susie," he acknowledged. "Pretty girl, good mind on her, too. She weren't gonna let you get away with nothing, and she knew you better than anyone."

"Still does," he confirmed. "Always will."

"A wife should," his father told him. "You know her the same way?"

He nodded. "Of course. She's my world, Dad. Her and the kids."

"You keep them with you forever," he told him. "Family is the most important thing in the world. No matter what your kids want to do, you support them. You help them grow in their own directions, not the ones you want for them."

He nodded again, dutifully. "I will."

"Then one day, when you're near the end, you won't have any regrets about the things you did or didn't do," he told him, and this time there was no question or answer. This was him trying to give the last lessons he could to his son. "Don't say anything to your mother, but I don't think I'll make it through the night," he said, lowering the tone even more.

"Don't say that, Dad," Reed mumbled.

"I can feel it," he confirmed. "It's my time. No questioning that." He then turned his face towards his son once again. "I'd like to see the kids...see their faces one last time."

"Of course," he nodded, his eyes welling up but he tried to choke it down and be strong.

"Not if it's going to scare them though," he added. "I don't want them to be scared. You have to decide, you're their father."

And that was the moment he knew. It wasn't in the deathbed speech moments before, it was that moment then that Reed knew his father had always loved him. None of the arguments mattered, but as a boy he hadn't known that. His father had never made a show of his love for him, but that had made him into a better father, he felt. He always kissed Franklin goodnight and told him that he loved him at every chance, whether the boy was waking or sleeping. Even if he had a late night flight and didn't arrive to the dawn hours, he'd kiss his son goodmorning, and the same for his daughter, even though she was too young to reciprocate.

"I'll bring them right now," he decided. "You just try to rest."

"I'm not tired," his father insisted.

"Just rest your eyes."

* * *

As Reed guided his son into the room where his father rested, he felt a spark of something not unlike electricity transfer from Franklin's shoulder up into his arm. It never hurt him, but it was something that Franklin emitted when he was worried, something he did without noticing. Electricity was his strongest gift, but it was still something he was learning to control. He was very confident at controlling the majority of his mental commands now, a help his school had been brilliant at, but the unwilling command of electricity was something he was still learning. Thankfully, it was something that didn't affect him too greatly, and never in a dangerous way.

"Hey, kiddo," Nathaniel smiled when he spotted his grandson near his bed.

"Hi, grandpa," he said in a small voice.

"Look at the state your old Grandpa's in," he indicated, noticing how the boy was watching the machines around them as if they were about to come to life. "Come here," he gestured.

With some careful manouvering and some help from Reed, Franklin found himself situated in the bed beside his grandfather. "Are you coming home to Grandma's with us tonight?" he asked innocently.

Reed took the chair beside the bed once again, remaining silent and separate to their moment together. "Got to wait and see what the doctors say, see if old Grandpa gets a bit better," Nathaniel told him. "How's school?"

"Fine," Franklin said, with a wary glance at his father. He suspected something was not right.

"What about those tricks of yours?" he asked. "How are you doing with them?"

Nathaniel never called them abilities, always tricks. It was his own personal way of trying to lessen the burden that he feared the abilities might bear one day. "Dad and Mom and my teachers say that I'm doing really good with them," he told his grandfather, suddenly alive with conversation about his school friends and what they were being taught. The mood was soon quietened again though, when Franklin added softly. "I don't like you being in the hospital,"

"I don't think I'll be here too much longer," he assured him, though it made Reed's heart sink to remember the conversation he'd previously had.

"I love you, Grandpa," Franklin said.

"I love you too, Frankie, my boy. I love you too. Now, I've got a special job for you to do. You know how well your momma looks after your dad?" Franklin nodded. "Well, she might need a bit of help soon. Do you think you can help her look after your old dad?"

Franklin again glanced at his father and nodded. "Yeah, I can do that."

"That's my boy," he praised.

* * *

Jessica had gone to bed at eight o'clock that night, a full thirty minutes before her weekday curfew, but at nine-thirty she had returned to the living room, tugging on her fathers sleeve in a distressed state.

"Jessie, what's wrong?" he asked, turning to see her hair frizzing rather than the usual straight to light curl style. "What happened to your hair?"

"Franklin," she insisted.

"Franklin's at his grandparents house, he's not here."

"Franklin did this to my hair, he did it before," she insisted, still agitated.

"What? Jess, calm down-"

"Something's wrong with Franklin," she said, trying to explain it calmly. "I know they went to say goodbye to his grandpa, and I couldn't sleep and I started thinking about him, and I hoped that he was ok but then I got the feeling that he was really sad and then I got all tingly like that time I accidentally touched the loose wire on the toaster and my hair went like this."

"And you think Franklin did this?" Johnny asked.

She nodded. "Someone teased him at school once and he got upset, and when I tried to make sure he was ok, he gave me an electric shock without meaning to."

"Jessie, even if it was Franklin, he's nowhere near where we are-"

"Dad, it was him," she insisted, and then looked a bit upset. "I think his grandpa might have died now."


	9. The Smoke and Who's Still Standing

**Chapter Nine: The Smoke and Who's Still Standing When It Clears**

Reed stood before the mirror in the hall, looking at his reflection. He'd never had a problem wearing a suit before, but this tux was nowhere near as comfortable as it should be. The collar was choking him so much that he started to wonder when the designer had begun lacing them with a noose. Beside him, Franklin clung to his leg, looking at himself in the same way. He was dressed in an identical manner, as Evelyn had insisted that 'her boys' have new suits to send off Nathaniel Richards. It had been heartbreaking to watch Sue pick out a black velvet dress for their eleven month old daughter, but Valeria had been happy enough picking at the beaded pattern on the hem of the dress while Sue had brushed her hair.

Reed crouched down in front of Franklin and gave him a small smile, the best he could manage. "Here, let me help you with your tie."

Franklin said nothing, so Reed stared down at the tie as he correctly positioned it. When he was done, he smoothed it down and looked at his tiny son's broken face. Franklin wasn't undersize for his age, but always looked so much smaller when he was sad. Perhaps it was him thinking as a parent, but it made him look so small at he felt he could hide him forever in his arms.

Sue appeared in the hall and stood behind her son, she smoothed down his hair, focusing instinctively on the part at the back which was starting to curl like Reed's. Her hand momentarily flinched as the static movement initiated the electric shock that he had stopped trying to control in his grief. She sighed and kissed his head, standing between her husband and son. Looking down at Franklin, she ran her hand over his shoulder. "Sweetie, grandma's having trouble finding Valeria's shoe, can you go and check the bedroom, please?"

Franklin nodded silently and went upstairs, leaving husband and wife standing before the mirror. Sue's hair was impeccable, her face beautiful, as always. With the two of them dressed so formally, they could have been looking at a slightly aged version of their wedding photo, were it not for Sue wearing a black dress instead of a white one. Reed started to fidget with his collar, so she put her hands over his and bought them down to his sides. "Honey, you look fine," she assured him.

"It's not that," he mumbled. "I just...I saw my father in myself for and moment and it freaked me out."

"Don't worry," she told him softly. "It's going to be fine." He fell silent but he hands began to shake. "Reed..."

"I can't do this," he shook his head. "I can't go, Sue."

"Yes you can, Reed. You can do this."

He sighed. "Why did this have to happen?"

He bowed his head, so she moved to stand in front of him and put both her hands on his cheeks, holding his face close to hers. "I know that it hurts, Reed. I know. But we can't change what happened. If we could, we would, but we can't. Just remember you aren't on your own today. You have your mother, and you need each other, and you have me as well. I'm here for you, Reed. Anything you need me to do, anything at all...I want you to tell me, ok?"

"The kids..."

"The kids will be fine," she assured him. "Franklin understands that his Dad's hurting right now, so don't bottle everything up because of him. He understands. And Val's too young to understand, she just wants to give everyone hugs today, so when she wants to hug her Dad later, I want you to hold her and not let go until she decides it, ok?"

He nodded. "Ok."

The service passed so quickly it was impossible to keep track of. The whole week had gone by with such an agonizing slowness that for that day to go so quickly he felt like pulling it back in. As they had entered the small church, he felt a sense of memories flooding him - he knew that his parents had been married in this church, just three months before he was born, and that he had been baptized here. He had come to Sunday school here until he was Franklin's age, and still come every Sunday morning until he went away to college.

Before they entered, a girl came running over to hug them, or more specifically, Franklin. She moved so fast that it took a moment for them to recognize the girl as their niece. "Jess, what are you doing here?" Sue asked.

"We drove up this morning," she told them, hugging her uncle. "Dad and I decided that you needed your family around you so we all came, they're just parking the car," she said, gesturing her arms around her wildly.

"That's very sweet of you," Sue said.

Inside the church, Jess came and sat up at the front of the church to be near Franklin, but Johnny, Ben and Alicia sat in at the back. Once inside, things were incredibly daunting. There, on a raised platform before him was his father's pine coffin. Pine, the same wood that the shelves in the garage were made from.

Part of him wanted to laugh at this – there was no way his father would be inside that box. He'd spent years complaining about the quality of the wood that he'd got from the back of someone's truck for the shelves, insisting that there was something 'off' about it and that eventually it'd all come falling down on his head. It never stopped him from piling paint cans and tool boxes on them, but he wouldn't have chosen a pine coffin. That had been his mother's decision in the funeral home. The other part of him wanted to break down, to run away. He didn't want to face up to the reality that his father was gone. Today meant with a certainty that he was never coming back. Today marked the end more than his actual death did.

Listening to Sue explain the wooden coffin to Franklin had been harder than looking at it himself. When he realized that his grandfather was inside it, the seven-year-old had tried to break away from his cousin and his mother and run towards it. Even Reed had jumped to his feet, and with his elasticized arms it was not only quicker for him to grab the boy but also to keep hold of him when he surged electricity out of his body. Unfortunately, none of them had been quick enough to get to him before he'd had the chance to try and lift the coffin lid. He wanted to get to his grandfather, and as Reed stood at the side of the coffin with his son in his arms, he wanted to get to him just as badly. Franklin had collapsed against his father's shoulder with noisy, angry sobs that set them off on Reed as well, though quieter. This is why he and his mother had opted for a closed casket at the funeral.

As Franklin sobbed to his father that his grandfather wouldn't want to be all alone in the dark, Reed lead him to the front pew once again, sitting him down between both his parents. He buried his face into his father's lap, not attempting to be grown up or do anything other than voice his grief. The service hadn't even started, with late guests still joining the pews behind them and so Reed focused his full attention on stroking his son's blonde hair, focusing in particular on the part at the top of his neck – just like on his mother, it calmed him. There was nothing he could say that would make the situation ok for him. Not today.

"Just cry," he whispered to his son, kissing his hair. "It's ok. Cry as loud as you want to."

"I can't remember how to be brave today, Dad," Franklin sobbed.

"Then don't be," Reed told him. "I don't want you to be brave today, ok? I want you to be whatever you want to be. If you want to be sad, then we can be sad together."

Franklin continued to cry during the service, and all throughout. Reed barely heard the words of the service as the painful sobs of his son struck him to the core. The whole time, Valeria sat contently in her mother's lap, barely noticing that her mother's face was soaked with tears but she did notice her elder brother looking sad. She leaned out of Sue's lap to put her hands on Franklin's shoulder with a loud 'bah!' to get his attention, and while he did look at her, the two of them didn't smile.

After the service, Johnny and the others came to the front. The family had their moments to pay their final respects, and were waiting until the friends were finished first so that they could have some privacy. Franklin happily hugged his uncles and moved to the pew behind. Val was attempting to walk across the floor by holding Jessica's hands. Reed turned to his mother, who had stayed silent through the service. "Will it ever get any easier?" he asked her.

She shook her head. "The pain will heal, but it will always be there."

He took her hand. "It wasn't that long ago that you were burying your father, and now you're burying your husband," he noted sadly.

"I still have you," she said with a gentle smile. "My boy. My baby."

"I'm not a baby anymore," he told her.

"You'll be my baby until the day I can't hold you in my arms anymore," Evelyn told him, and it reminded him exactly of Sue's words about their own children on Christmas Day. "You couldn't be more different from your father, but at the same time you're so much alike."

Leaving him with that thought, Evelyn stood to go and pay her final respects to her husband. Immediately, Reed turned in his seat to face his wife. Sue was watching their baby daughter attempting steps with a smile on her face. The fact that Sue could smile on a day like this was one of the reasons why he loved her. She could find the moment of joy in the darkest hour, and it was in her finding it that he discovered it himself.

"Look at her!" she whispered excitedly. "All the strength in her legs, she'll be walking soon."

Reed put his arm around her shoulders, nodding but saying nothing. As his fingertips brushed through her golden hair, he thought for a moment about the flood of memories that the church held for him. "You know what..."

"What?" she asked, looking at him.

He changed his mind, and shook his head. "Nothing, it's stupid."

"Tell me," she told him, turning in her seat to face him fully.

"I um..." he mumbled, avoiding her eyes and looking down at the hands she entwined in their laps. Her wedding ring felt cool against his fingers. "I used to get dragged to this same church when I was a child. I always hated it. Science and religion never mix well, and they certainly didn't for me. So I just used to sit and stare up at the ceiling, at the angels, and they always had this beautiful golden hair...like yours...so, you just reminded me of an angel, I guess," he finished in a mumble.

"That's nice," she smiled, kissing him softly.

Later that night, Reed sat up in the living room with just his mother. Franklin was still upset so Sue had gone to lay down with the children until he fell asleep. When Reed had passed the room earlier he saw that she was asleep in the bed with their son, in his own childhood bed, and he'd managed to smile a little, pulling the door shut. He'd wake her and move her when he decided to sleep, knowing that he wouldn't be able to sleep alone, and had gone downstairs to keep his mother company. They sat with cups of tea from her good china set, her in her armchair, him on the loveseat. He dared not sit in the empty armchair that was his father's.

Staring at it, he noticed that there was still a grove in the seat from when he'd last sat in it. He wondered if that would ever ease out. "He knew, didn't he?" Reed murmured, causing his mother to look at him. "He's known all along that his heart was bad, right?"

"He must have known for a while, at least," she agreed. "He went for tests a while back, when he first started getting pains. I made him go."

Reed looked up from his cup with a frown. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"He told me it was all fine," she said.

He sighed. "God...I never knew..."

"We didn't want to tell you about the tests because when he told me they came back find we didn't see the point in worrying you," she explained. "You were so busy with being a hero, I think it was around the time you were up in Canada for the weekend, and with the new baby as well you and Susan both had your hands full. Besides, he was fine. So he said."

"But he wasn't fine," he sighed. "Clearly he hadn't been fine for a long time."

"He would have known from the start," she agreed on her earlier point. "I was talking to one of the nurses, and she told me about this thing called 'gradual disclosure'. They don't give you all the bad news at once, not unless you make them, not unless you demand to know what's wrong."

"Dad would have wanted to know," Reed nodded.

"Yes, he would have made them tell him."

"Then why did he keep it a secret for so long?" he asked. "He knew we'd have found out eventually."

His mother was silent, and placed her empty mug beside the lamp. "He was protecting us," she whispered into the near-darkness.

And as he thought about the many things he had done, and would continue to do for his own children, Reed found himself understanding. How many times had he come home with an injury and told Franklin that it was just a scratch, that it didn't hurt? That he got the bruise from walking into the table when the room was dark?

"Protecting us," he whispered.


End file.
